Foreign Service Official Hates Neighbors, Metaphor Too Obvious to Explore Further
Pictured: The hell on Earth that is State Department housing in Berlin
The life of State Department Official posted overseas is not an easy one. Forced to live in Europe with free accommodations, living the degraded and stressful life of a diplomat with a fat government paycheck, who can blame them when they snap and send out mass emails to everyone in Berlin full of petty complaints?
From: [Redacted]
Sent: Friday, April 07, 2006 12:45
To: [Redacted], Berlin Hegewinkel Residents
Subject: RE: I heard you are removing trees from Hegewinkel today
As a residing tenant of Am Hagewinkel, I am a bit resentful of "A select few" speaking for the masses. I unfortunately, in this case, am also the Deputy [Redacted] here in Berlin. I get nothing special and have to be the last in line for anything received, to ensure there is "fair and equitable" distribution of any perks given.
Solely speaking as a resident, I resent ALL the problems you, your husband, Mr. [Redacted], and [Redacted] have caused some of the residents such as myself. Mr. [Redacted] made a point of speaking about the dog issue. I have sent my dog through a search and rescue school in Florida, which cost me a lot of money. She is trained on command and likes to run freely OFF leash. Having a fenced in compound was a great safety net for her to not encounter outside animals. She would do her "business" outside of the perimeter, then freely play on compound. This was a privilege that we (you, [Redacted], myself and several parents of furry, four legged animals residing there) were enjoying. I now have to walk her through the grunewald to avoid any appearance of my pet or myself, of being "special". BUT, I do notice that your husband DOES NOT clean up after your two puppies. I have also notice that I have not seen [Redacted]'s dog walked ON LEASH. As a matter of fact, not long ago, while conducting a fire inspection at the Am Hagewinkel property, I noticed [Redacted]'s husband skateboarding freely during the day, and their dog was completely unattended off leash. Personally, I think this is great that their dog is also trained off leash. That they consider, as most of us who have chosen not to have children, their pet as a family member. It is wonderful to walk outside with your dog and watch it play freely in a safe environment without a leash. But through your and [Redacted]'s complaints, you have RUINED it for us all.
Full angry, craigslist-ready rant, after the jump. It eventually rises to a brilliant, beautiful fever pitch.
From: [Redacted]
Sent: Friday, April 07, 2006 12:45
To: [Redacted], Berlin Hegewinkel Residents
Subject: RE: I heard you are removing trees from
Hegewinkel today
As a residing tenant of Am Hagewinkel, I am a bit resentful of "A select few" speaking for the masses. I unfortunately, in this case, am also the Deputy [Redacted] here in Berlin. I get nothing special and have to be the last in line for anything received, to ensure there is "fair and equitable" distribution of any perks given.
Solely speaking as a resident, I resent ALL the problems you, your husband, Mr. [Redacted], and [Redacted] have caused some of the residents such as myself. Mr. [Redacted] made a point of speaking about the dog issue. I have sent my dog through a search and rescue school in Florida, which cost me a lot of money. She is trained on command and likes to run freely OFF leash. Having a fenced in compound was a great safety net for her to not encounter outside animals. She would do her "business" outside of the perimeter, then freely play on compound. This was a privilege that we (you, [Redacted], myself and several parents of furry, four legged animals residing there) were enjoying. I now have to walk her through the grunewald to avoid any appearance of my pet or myself, of being "special". BUT, I do notice that your husband DOES NOT clean up after your two puppies. I have also notice that I have not seen [Redacted]'s dog walked ON LEASH. As a matter of fact, not long ago, while conducting a fire inspection at the Am Hagewinkel property, I noticed [Redacted]'s husband skateboarding freely during the day, and their dog was completely unattended off leash. Personally, I think this is great that their dog is also trained off leash. That they consider, as most of us who have chosen not to have children, their pet as a family member. It is wonderful to walk outside with your dog and watch it play freely in a safe environment without a leash. But through your and [Redacted]'s complaints, you have RUINED it for us all.
Then there was the playground issue. When the
playground equipment was there, no one, and I mean no
one has used the equipment since I have been there (5
months now). The only time I have seen anyone use
the playground, was when you husband would take your
puppies in there. He would take them off leash so that
they could do their business in there, and then, NOT
clean up after them. See, although I do not have any
children, I ADORE children. I have a 10 year old
nephew, of which I take care of during the summer.
Although he probably would have enjoyed having the
playground there, I think the American children who
live here year round would better benefit from having
the equipment closer to their homes. I think it is
wonderful that this equipment is going to finally get
better use. It was TAX payer money that paid for that
equipment to be used by children. Do you have children
residing with you?? Do YOU or your husband use the
jungle gym?? I don't think so. So what was the problem
with moving the equipment closer to families who do
have children so that they may use the equipment?? But
I guess when you, your husband, [Redacted] and and her
husband complained about the removal of the
equipment, you were SO busy concerning yourself about
"me myself, and I" , that you did not take into
consideration the families, parents, and children who
could get better use out of the equipment then just
your dogs.
At the town hall meeting with Under Secretary
[Redacted], your husband brought up several issues about
living in Am Hagewinkel. This is common knowledge, as
this was a open forum town hall meeting. What you
missed, because you chose not to attend, was the fact
that your husband was the ONLY one to complain!!
[Redacted], who was seated there along with MANY other
Hagewinkel residents, had no complaints!! NONE!!! I
am not sure if you lived in either Palm Beach, Beverly
Hills, Long Island, Scottsdale, or any of the other
extremely upscale communities in the United States. If
you did and were of the fortunate few, then you
probably did not join the foreign service for the
living amenities. Weather you did or you didn't reside
in any of these pristine communities, you would
realize that this is GOVERNMENT HOUSING and it meets
all of your basic needs! Personally, this apartment
that I am living in is about 3000 sq feet smaller than
my previous private residence. It does not have the
almost 1000 sq feet of covered lanai area, nor does it
have the kidney shaped pool, or the Jacuzzi. It
definitely lacks the view and access to the golf
course that I am accustomed to. It most definitely
lacks the neighborhood and community that I am also
accustomed to. But in case you haven't heard the news
yet, let me be the first to inform you..... It's free
and its definitely not as bad as you paint it to be!!
Get out more!! Enjoy life and stop sending me, as a
resident, all of your miserable complaints!! Send it
to the Ambassador and to Washington!! Here's a novel
idea.... Send it to some poor coal miner, or to some
poor family living in back in the states, or to some
of the tens of millions of Americans back home who
would kill to be able to live the life you are living.
Go back home and complain to the average tax payer who
is making minimum wage, struggling to make ends meet
and tell them you want to file an IG complaint because
they took away your playground (which you NEVER use
except as a dog pooping area!!). Ask them what they
think about you having to walk your dog on a leash!
Have your husband go and complain to the average Joe
working in a steel mill 14 hours a day, just so that
he can make ends meet. Tell them that you are
basically living for free and are upset that they
moved a park bench ( which by the way, in the past 5
months, NO ONE has used!!) to see what their reaction
would be. See how sympathetic they would be towards
your cause. Having loved ones in Iraq, send a letter
to a soldier on the ground in Mosul, or in ABU GHRAIB,
and tell them how "HORRIBLE" your living conditions
are. As a matter of fact, heck, send it to one of your
OMS counter parts or to one of [Redacted]'s counter parts
in Iraq. Ask them how "wonderful" their living
conditions are!! You should do this so that you would
realize how quickly they would send you to fly a kite
after they hear your complaints!! In case you haven't
heard this before, let me reiterate this to you
again......LIFE IS NOT THAT BAD AT HAGEWINKEL!!
I encourage everyone to whom you have sent this
email to (mainly residents at Am Hagewinkel) to
comment on what they feel life is truly like at
Hagewinkel. Perhaps I am still a little too jet lagged
after five months to see the misery that you four are
living in. Perhaps you really do represent the masses,
but to those neighbors I have spoken to, most of us
feel the same. It's not Palm Beach or Beverly Hills,
but its not that bad.
I would like to suggest that an ombudsman, voted
on by all, be appointed to deal with issues which are
voted on and agreed to by the entire community, to be
brought forward to management. I can only imagine the
time and energy you and the other three spend spinning
these issues. [Redacted], you are living in Germany. Get
out more. Use your apartment as a spring board to see
and travel through Europe. There is life outside of
Hagewinkel. If your spouse is bored at home and the
only thing for him to do is find reasons to complain
about living at Hagewinkel, have him find a hobby that
will take him OUTSIDE of Hagewinkel. I have seen your
puppies and they are the cutest!! Have him take a "dog
trainers course" so that he can teach them not to
escape from the little holes around the fenced area.
Do whatever you need to but please, as a resident,
STOP sending me your complaints, and please STOP
speaking for me as a resident.
Respectfully,
[Redacted]
U.S. Foreign Service
U.S. Embassy, Berlin