20 Comments

I dunno, You could get a cup of tea, or maybe a bottled water. It doesn't have to be coffee. They couldn't charge $5 for a bottle of water, could they? Who'd be stupid enough to pay that?

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His family is just outside having another picnic. That one in Central Park worked out so well.

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That's depressing. Maybe he has been scapegoated, which is a thing that has been known to happen on the Intertubes.

Damn, now I'm a little bit sorry I just went over to his Facebook to join the merry throng of people gratuitously making him feel bad and beleaguered.

Still, calling the cops and removing a <strike>rival business's</strike> fellow cafe's trash cans suggests that it's not just the homeless folks who are getting on his nerves.

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Buttery Shelf Eatery sound like a kinky form of butt sechs and Santorium.

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they wouldn't be standing, they'd be sitting on their Hoverrounds

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I have a cunning plan for Coffee Curmudgeon to instantly increase sales: go on Beck or Hannity's show, talk up how the damn socialist food kitchen is creating gay babies and taking away your guns, argle bargle something about the war on Christmas, and blamo! All the local wingnutties flock to your store in a show of support.

Hey, it worked for Chick Fil A...

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and I bet he considers himself a good Christian also too

Matthew 6 24 motherfucker

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Isn't that Superman's dad?

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Or, as we call it in Chicago, 'game day at Wrigley Field.'

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I don't give a tinker's damn what your dictionary says

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I'm thinking of an especially appropriate feat of strength

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Superman's dad is Joe-El. Kal-El is Superman.

Pretty sure this guy isn't superman... maybe bizarro superman?

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I'm all for helping people, but, not if it means swear words might happen!

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As they say, "No good deed goes unpunished."

Thanks a bunch, Mr. Kalal. Call Paul Ryan to help with your dishes. Fkwad.

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OK - Here's the solution.

Instead of giving the food away, Buttery Shelf should just charge, say, ten cents a meal.

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No soup for you!

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