French Nuclear Waste Dump Explodes, Kenyan Oil Pipeline Explodes

How is the world of energy going, today? Not so well! In the non-German, still-nuke-having European land of France, a nuclear waste dump in Marcoule exploded.At least one person is dead and several are injured and of course there is "no danger" until, like every recent nuclear disaster, the entire province is pronounced off limits to humanity for the next 10,000 years. (The Fox News-esque British deadpan comedy blogDaily Mailmarks the explosion with the headline, "Marcoule explosion: Is the tide of anti-nuclear irrationality on the turn?") And in Barack Obama's socialist "Aloha State" of Kenya, a gigantic oil pipeline exploded in a heavily populated slum of Nairobi, killing at least a hundred.

East Coast earthquakes, Manhattan hurricanes, tens of millions of American households without electricity, whatelsecan we expect along with the constant West Coast radioactive rain from the still-spewing Fukushima Daiichi nuclear disaster ? How about stinkbugs! There is a new plague of stinkbugs, in America, and you will not be spared:

The reviled brown marmorated stinkbug has made its nasty presence known throughout the Mid-Atlantic, eating fruit and vegetable crops and invading homes. But there’s been one good thing about the pest. It’s created jobs.

Gah, never mind! Welcome, stinkbugs! Stinkbugs is Obama's jobs plan! (This is an ironic/incorrect use of "is." Check reddit or something for an explanation, or Comic-Con.) [ Al Jazeera / Treehugger / Daily Mail ]