Fun Things We Learned About The Comey Firing: A Wonkette Listicle!
Help us, Scully and Mulder. You're our only hope!
As with any breaking story, Donald Trump's firing of James Comey from the FBI has generated about a million loose ends, so let's try to pick up a few of them, to ensure our Wonkers are among the most well-informed readers of listicles in America! In no particular order, let us examine some of the bric-a-brac and chaff that's gathered all over the floor:
Vanishing Spicer!
From the lede of the Washington Post's invaluable story on Team Trump's fuckscramble to explain why James Comey had to be fired right now:
White House press secretary Sean Spicer wrapped up his brief interview with Fox Business from the White House grounds late Tuesday night and then disappeared into the shadows, huddling with his staff behind a tall hedge.
That imagery brought something to mind for Buzzfeed reporter Tasneem N:
"Spicer... disappeared into the shadows, huddling with his staff behind a tall hedge." https: //t.co/55yOI4D2Ji pic.twitter.com/mBYHectRVh
— Tasneem N (@TasneemN) May 10, 2017
"Eastasia. They don't pay their fair share. Our deal with them is bad. They're much smarter than us. When I make war on Eastasia, it'll be such a great war, you'll get sick of war."
I gotta find that Perzik. There was a Funkwerks peach Berliner Weisse at the place I stopped yesterday. I was all "want more beer/have many things to do". I opted for adult responsibility, tragically enough. I'm doomed. For American tripel, I think Victory Golden Monkey is really good. The joint we play every Monday night sells it in bottles in their package store. I'm the only one who ever buys it, but because I've been doing this gig every week for 7 fucking years, they keep it in stock and give me a good price on a 6-pack. The perks of musical superstardom never cease to amaze...
Shit...just did a search for Perzik. Result: "No locations found within 100 miles of this zip code". You'd think I was asking from Bechuanaland.