Generous Hillary Clinton Provides New 'Not Running For President' Story

 
 Hillary Clinton was in Bahrain today, and because we live in a period of history after her husband's presidency and before her death (from that most feminist of diseases, breast cancer, we presume), somebody asked her if she was interested in running for president. And because Hillary Clinton has yet to become mentally ill from hearing the same question over and over, as people ignore her actual, present existence, she politely answered, and now the media has a brand-new "Hillary Clinton denies running for Obama job!" story. "I think I'll serve as secretary of state as my last public position, and then probably go back to advocacy work, particularly on behalf of women and children," she said. So, she's going to run for president of the women and children ?

It was the first time Clinton has spoken so directly about leaving public service, where she has been a dominant figure in Democratic circles for two decades.

Well, there's a story! HILLARY USE DIFFERENT WORDS THIS TIME. THIS TIME STORY DIFFERENT. MEDIA THINK STORY BIG NEWS. BIG NEWS HILLARY NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.

Of course, Clinton used the words "think" and "probably," soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo... hopefully a tapeworm packed with explosives has wriggled its way into the body of each and every media person in the world and will detonate in approximately five seconds!

...Damn. [ Reuters ]