Church Of Holy Bleach Drinking Headed To Prison

Please do not drink bleach.

Before conservatives had fully coalesced around the idea that COVID-19 was all a hoax concocted by Bill Gates or someone for the purpose of general evil-doing, a whole bunch of them tried making money off of it — largely by shilling snake oil. Snake oil that turns people blue, snake oil that came in the form of nondescript white pills manufactured by a guy named Keith, and, of course, the Magical Mystery Miracle Mineral Toxic Industrial Bleach Solution.

Indeed, if we were more conspiracy-minded, we might think that COVID-denialism might not have even become a thing if Jim Bakker, Keith Middlebrook and the Genesis II Church of Health and Healing had been allowed to make piles of money from selling fake cures without the government telling them no or sending them to prison over it.

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Now, the family/non-religious church who made more than a million dollars selling Miracle Mineral Solution (aka bleach) is headed to prison, having been found guilty last week of “conspiring to defraud the United States and deliver misbranded drugs.” They appeared in court reportedly all wearing “beige inmate uniforms, pony tails and flowing beards,” which tracks.

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Church Of Holy Bleach Drinking Family Indicted (Again) For Selling Bleach As COVID Cure

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Mark Grenon, 65, and his sons, Jonathan, Joseph and Jordan had tried to get away with the scheme by calling themselves Genesis II Church of Health and Healing and giving the bleach away in exchange for “donations,” but that genius plan somehow did not fool a federal jury. The “church” claimed that MMS, otherwise known as chlorine dioxide (an industrial bleach used for stripping textiles), cured not just COVID, but pretty much every other disease or illness on the planet, which it did not, on account of how it is a toxic industrial bleach.

The main charge carries up to five years in prison, and the whole fam will get sentenced on October 6.

Jonathan and Jordan Grenon each faced an additional charge of violating a federal order to stop selling the product in 2020, which the rest of the family avoided as part of an extradition agreement, as they were all hiding out in Colombia. Those charges carry a potential sentence of life in prison.

The family says they will appeal the decision.

The Grenons chose to represent themselves in their two-day trial, though they refused to say a word during it. This strategy did little to win over the jury, which found them guilty in about a half hour. But you know what they say — snake-oil salesmen who represent themselves in court have fools for clients, especially when both the lawyers and clients have been drinking a lot of bleach.