Georgian Congressman Worried Island of Guam Might 'Tip Over'

Just keep watching, the payoff is worth it. Will Guam "tip over and capsize" if 8,000 Marines and their families move there? Hmmm, let's see, just give us a moment to consider the question .... ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE? This is U.S. Representative Hank Johnson, D-Georgia. And there's a sad reason for his confusion, which will make you sad for laughing. But still!

Oh dear god is he crazy, senile, brain-damaged, or all three? Is thisperformance art? Ha ha, no of course not, now that this video clip has become God's real-life April Fools Joke (lol, humans). Now Hank Johnson said he only meant this as, of course, "a metaphor." A metaphor for being a long-winded idiot, in Congress. Also, congressman, the word you're looking for is "narrow," the "narrowest" part of the island, jesus fucking christ.

But maybe there's amedical issue? Right-wing blog Powerline -- there's a likely defender of a black Democratic congressman! -- says Johnson has Hep-C and that causes confusion. Well, that's sad, and certainly not unique in the Halls of Congress, but maybe the dude needs to take medical leave. [ Creative Loafing ]