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π”…π”’π”’π”©π”·π”’π”Ÿπ”²π”Ÿπ”Ÿπ”ž's avatar

Republican mad libs!!!

What the country really needs is a corrupt former ______ who left his wife for _____.

(The GOP's winning formula this year.)

π”…π”’π”’π”©π”·π”’π”Ÿπ”²π”Ÿπ”Ÿπ”ž's avatar

"Plus she pulls a dress off better than Rudy."

Given the choice, sure, I'd rather watch <i>her</i> pull a dress off -- but I still can't stand the woman.

π”…π”’π”’π”©π”·π”’π”Ÿπ”²π”Ÿπ”Ÿπ”ž's avatar

I was thinking Eliot Spitzer. The GOP is handing out get-out-of-jail-free passes on sex scandals this year, so the timing could not be better.

Dashboard Buddha's avatar

I was really quite surprised there was no one yelling, "motherfucker, get me some more weed!"

PsycWench's avatar

That's a lot of heartland. He'd have this cinched if he could impress the meth part of the heartland also.

Monsieur_Grumpe's avatar

I learn so much at Wonkette. With all that slime Rudy should feel right at home.

π”…π”’π”’π”©π”·π”’π”Ÿπ”²π”Ÿπ”Ÿπ”ž's avatar

Margaret Carlson usually gets the credit for that gem: “Like so many New Yorkers, Rudy Giuliani went to Florida to die.”

π”…π”’π”’π”©π”·π”’π”Ÿπ”²π”Ÿπ”Ÿπ”ž's avatar

Probably smaller bonuses than usual, like the AIG or Goldman execs. That's considered an awful thing, among the billionaire set.

π”…π”’π”’π”©π”·π”’π”Ÿπ”²π”Ÿπ”Ÿπ”ž's avatar

Hey, if you can make $80 mil with a really bad Rapture schtick, imagine what you could rake in by scamming, skimming, and skinning the teabaggers!

π”…π”’π”’π”©π”·π”’π”Ÿπ”²π”Ÿπ”Ÿπ”ž's avatar

"Pro-Choice Republican nominee"

Not a problem. Rudy just has to flip 180 degrees, and claim to be pro-life. Problem solved!

Teabaggers have a really short attention span, and a profound impairment in long-term memory. (See: Romney, Mitt.) (See also: Economics, down, trickle.)

Bourgeois Nerd's avatar

Yeah, John McCain's "maverickness" is really just contrarian spite. After 2000, he wanted to stick it to Bush; after 2008, he wants to stick it to Obama. He don't give a shit, he just wants to have a tantrum and "punish" the guys who had the temerity to beat him. FIVE AND A HALF YEARS!

Spurning Beer's avatar

I also got the impression with each of his maverick initiatives that it was less for the sake of principles and more for the Greater Glory of John McCain.