GO STEAL ELECTIONS IN PRISON FOR NINE YEARS, COLORADO MAGA A-HOLE TINA PETERS
Play stupid games, get sentenced to stupid prizes.
Oh hey, remember Tina Peters, the ultra-MAGA stop-the-steal former county clerk for Mesa County, Colorado, who was indicted for using her powers to start the steal, as it turned out? She was sentenced to nine years behind bars today, in prison AND in jail.
Ha ha.
As you probably remember, she was convicted on seven of 10 counts in August, of hatching (quoting Wonkette now) “a scheme to break into Mesa County’s elections offices, disable the security cameras, unlock the doors, and sneak in a former pro surfer named Conan Hayes to tamper with Dominion voting machines to prove some kind of anti-Trump fraud, or something.”
She was just saving democracy by getting a sneaky guy to copy Dominion hard drives for her, then smuggling the data to the MyPillow guy. As one does!
And now she’s going to prison like a common Steve Bannon or El Chapo, AS ONE DOES.
Tina Peters did not want to attend prison, and explained to the judge:
“I’m not a criminal, and I don’t deserve to go to a prison where other people committed heinous crimes.”
However, Judge Matthew Barrett disagreed, clarifying that Tina Peters gets to go to jail now. She gets to go for 8.5 years to the big prison, plus six months in the county jail.
Barrett also explained that Tina Peters is a total dickwipe and fuck off:
[I]n his sentencing decision, Barrett said Peters used her privilege “to obtain power, a following and fame.”
“You are no hero, you abused your position, and you’re a charlatan who used and is still using your prior position in office to peddle a snake oil that’s been proven to be a snake oil time and time again,” the judge remarked before handing down the sentence.
Please watch the entire sentencing speech, for it is amazing. Many people are saying he could have been talking to Donald Trump. This is how MAGA officials should be spoken to:
If Peters serves her full sentence, she will get out just after Kamala Harris finishes her second term probably.
When Peters was served a warrant in a bagel shop for illegally recording a court hearing related to this set of crimes, she kicked a cop.
You know what’s a really popular thing to do in prison? Not that.
We don’t know what kind of elections they have in prison — like student council, but for jail maybe? — but if we find out she tried to steal them on behalf of whatever white supremacist prison gang she ends up joining, that’ll be a HO HUM, TYPICAL TINA from us.
OPEN THREAD.
[Washington Post / video via Ron Filipkowski]
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The *schadenfreude* in this is delicious like Chanel No. 5 Bath Oil to me. I don’t think they even make that anymore, but I have a long memory.
Love how these white-privileged middle class jerkoffs are getting serious prison time. It will be a shock to their delicate sensibilities.