Gossip Roundup: But Don't Quote Him Saying That Edition

•Names & Faces Vince VaughnandOwen Wilsonin D.C. for shooting of new film [ You're kidding. -Ed.]. . .Wolfowitzdrops to one knee in front ofJessica Lynchat theBloombergparty: "The president wouldn't want you to miss your boyfriend's birthday. I speak to him all the time and, if no one else gets the message to him, I'll make sure he knows that's why you didn't go see him." [ I totally missed all the good stuff. -Ed.]. . .Breaux, Hatch, Feinstein, Pelosi, Bono,andRangelto honorValenti.[ WP ]

•Inside the Beltway: The Interior Department operates 31,000 web sites compared to AOL's 50. . .Rep. Meeks (D.-N.Y.)saysBushshouldn't be campaigning: "Our wartime president is missing in action. . . [He] is in Ohio flipping pancakes, and in Michigan, of all places, riding in a $1 million bus made in Canada.". . . Art historian says new capital security measures "reflect fear, not the optimism inherent in a democracy. . . The security measures have a symbolism that becomes oppressive.". . .Sen. Johnson: "In my race for re-election to the U.S. Senate seat from South Dakota in 2002, the Republicans threw everything but the kitchen sink at me."

[ WT ]

•Rush & Molloy: Tommy Franks,on Iraqi troops: "If they aren't true to our cause, we'll kill 'em." His wife: "Don't quote him saying that!"Franks: "You can quote me! We have, without a doubt, delivered them their country. Let's see if we can create a model, and if the model doesn't work, I don't mean literally kill them, I mean take it away from them. . . The question I always ask myself is how much of what we worry about today is associated with the reality in the post-9/11 world and how much is related to this being an election year." [NYDN ]

•Lloyd Grove's Lowdown: Kurt Vonnegut,on theBushadministration: "They're committing war crimes - attacking a country that hasn't attacked us. Pretending it had. And torturing prisoners and filling countless graves with dead Iraqis. But adroit, sure.Al Caponewas adroit. . . I don't care howBushdoes, because I don't believe him. He believes himself, and that's what is quite terrifying. . . It's my country, not theirs. And they've trashed the reputation of Americans. . . It's possible to destroy a great civilization.Bushand those people have no love for it at all.". . .TeresaonLaura: "I've shaken her hand, and she's got wonderful eyes. . . And she looks fun. . And I'm sure she is a good influence on her husband. And I'm glad she was there for him during 9/11." OnCheney: "I tell you, if someone went to war and came back and didn't throw their medals in and criticized my husband, I'd say you have a right. But to be criticized by people who evaded going to war, I don't think is fair game." [NYDN ]

•Liz Smith: Rumsfeld,when confronted last week: "You want the president of the United States to resign?" [ NYP ]

•Page Six: In an effort to reduce unsightly bird droppings, pigeons will be electrically shocked if they land on the post office next to Madison Square Garden during the Republican National Convention. [NYP ]