Gossip Roundup: Paltry Servings Edition

·Homeland Security warns of pressure cookers. Like, really. The things you put beans in: They can be turned into "'improvised explosive devices' with the addition of one ingredient -- explosives."Wes Clarkcalls his wife “The General’s General.”Joe McCarthy– he hated communists. But it turns out that many of his allegations were untrue.Diana Rossgoes to jail.Michael JacksonheartsArmstrong Williams. (We've held back on you so far,Leiby, but much more of this. . . ) [ WP ]

·The Smithsonian was selling magnets mockingBush. They aren’t anymore.Bob Weinerthinks Watergate break-in was motivated byJohn Kerry. "It was a small delegation. But it was quality." --Cheneyon being the Wyoming Rep. [ WT ]

· Laura, JennaandBarbiesee Gypsy (Saturday) and The Producers (Sunday).Nathan Laneblames poor performance on Republicans watching. (Had an ex who used the exact same excuse.) Bonus: On Friday,Jennaclosed Bungalow 8. (Working the played-out B-list vote?) [ NYP ]

· Lauraand the girls were at Gypsy at Saturday. This time we learn that there were lots of Secret Service agents around -- protectingJennafrom herself? From her massive hangover? [ NYDN ]

·WP TV criticTom Shaleshates NBC pretty boyMatt Lauer, according toLloyd Grove. ButLloydwants us to know what the real story is: "I like and admire both men, and it's too bad they can't get along." And too bad you have to write about it. [ NYDN ]