GovSex: The Gerbil Wheel Spins

A Wonkette rumormonger on the scene in the state whose governor is having an affair with (choose one)

•the secretary of state

•the 20-year-old son of a legislator

•the attorney general

•his secretary

says the story has a new twist: It was the secretary of state. And he's had an "emergency appendectomy" that's really just an excuse to get him out of the public eye. Except he also tried to commit suicide. Oh, and a major paper was going to run a story about it but pulled it at the last second. And apparently, another paper ran a story about papers not running the story, while at the same time not directly stating the rumor. (Neat trick!) Well, we hear that he found a mouse in a Coke can. And when he asked for the recipe for the cookie he was served, Neiman-Marcus charged him $250 for it! And then he went hospital to have his stomach pumped and it was, like, filled with semen!

 Instantaneous Scandal-Mongering: GovSex [Wonkette]