Gridiron Dinner: Secret, Off-the-Record, Boring
A Wonkette operative reports on this weekend's Gridiron dinner, which, frankly, sounds a lot like "Eyes Wide Shut" -- costumes, homoeroticism, five hours long.... -- but more dull.
Besides having to dress like corn, what's the attraction of the Gridiron again? It doesn't allow bloggers, is that it? Are there not enough places in DC where old white men can giggle like schoolgirls over naughty jokes? We thought that was Congress. Whatever. We would never belong to a club that wouldn't have us as a member. Or something.
Condilooked like Queen Amidala in her bizarre red cape getup. But given the untrammeled frumpiness of the room's inhabitants, she may as well have been Halle Berry on Oscar night. Ladies of Washington: foundation garments.
Bush laughed when one of the skits onstage hadRovecalling him "dim." The "Rove" character had on bright yellow wig and a lab coat. No shit.
In the show, octogenarians dressed as Vegas showgirls and baseball players. The younger members of the Gridiron (those nearing retirement age) were dressed as ears of corn and a bear. Yes, it's tradition, but they should rethink this.
Helen Thomasperformed in the roles she was born to play: as both Theresa Hines Kerry and Laura Bush. But not at the same time.
Recollections continue after the jump.
Chuck Hagelgave a speech that revealed a paranoiac obsession withMaureen Dowd. Apparently only Nebraskans still read her column. [ Not this one! -- Wonkette]Bill Richardsonalso spoke, and mariachi music was played. They are both running for president. This was about five hours into the dinner.
WhenBushfinally got up to speak, hours later, his first words were, "Good Morning." He offered the evening's 47th joke aboutBob Shrum(don't these speechwriters coordinate better?) making Shrum, in his ignominy, the most talked-about person at the dinner. It was weird. Was it intentional? People still talk about Shrum? [ We also hear he made his 213th joke about admitting (or not) to mistakes. Does Dickerson get royalties? -- Wonkette]
Also sighted: Kerry spokesmanDavid Wade,Ron Fournierhotly pursuingLucianne Goldbergat the early reception,Colin Powellaccessorizing his white tie and tails with a sporty red Nationals cap, tinyMayor Bloombergyukking it up with tinyJudy Woodruff.Alan Greenspan, also tiny.Dan Glickmanalready looks kind of "Hollywood."Nicole Devenish: sorry, but she does look like Tatum O'Neil. Deal with it, girlie.