Guess Benghazi Committee Doesn't Care About Four Dead Americans Anymore :(

You vanquished her, assholes, you happy now?

Our long national nightmare of BENGHAZI!!!!!!11111!! is over:  

The special congressional investigation into the 2012 terrorist attacks in Benghazi is officially over now that the panel filed its final report the day before the House adjourned for the year.

The Select Committee on Benghazi initially released its findings in June but remained in place for months afterward trying to declassify supporting documents like emails and interview transcripts for public release.

The final report, not including dissenting views from committee Democrats, clocks in at more than 322,000 words. It was added to the official House record without fanfare on Dec. 7 by Rep. Trey Gowdy, R-S.C., the panel’s chairman.

The panel, which spent more than $7.8 million over two and a half years, disbanded at the end of the 114th Congress, before a new Congress begins in January.

 USA Today notes that Democratic Rep. Elijah Cummings is calling bullshit on the timing of the committee being finished, since "Republicans voted on this partisan report five months ago, but delayed filing it and completing the committee until after the election." Oh gee golly, wonder what they might have been waiting for around for. Oh well, bygones!

"Mission accomplished!" yelled Trey Gowdy as he stuffed his South Carolina Republican creep-body into a flight suit and slicked back his Hitler Youth hair. The mission, of course, was to make sure Hillary Clinton was never elected president, as none of the Republicans on the House Select Committee On Benghazi actually ever really cared about the Americans who died in that attack.

If you doubt that, do you remember back in 2015, when GOP Rep. Kevin McCarthy was in the running for speaker of the House, and he actually admitted  that the Benghazi committee was doing its real job, because Hillary's poll numbers were dropping? Good times!

[wonkbar]<a href="https: //wonkette.substack.com/p/gop-benghazi-press-conference-basically-just-trey-gowdy-stepping-repeatedly-on-own-dick"></a>[/wonkbar]But is it really fair to let Gowdy do a MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! boner-dance over this? Meh, we guess, in a roundabout way, because the five-millionth Benghazi investigation, the one HE RAN, didn't actually find any new information, and certainly nothing that incriminated Hillary Clinton. In fact, Gowdy's press conference at the conclusion of the investigation was downright pathetic .

[wonkbar]<a href="https: //wonkette.substack.com/p/fbi-refuses-to-imprison-hillary-clinton-for-being-historys-greatest-email-monster"></a>[/wonkbar]But his investigation did indeed help turn up one unrelated thing, and that thing was Hillary's PRIVATE EMAIL SERVER! Hooray, more Clinton stuff to investigate! Of course, the FBI ended up doing a big long investigation of that server, but unfortunately at its conclusion, FBI Director James Comey announced, regretfully it seemed, that alas and alack, she had done nothing criminal with said email server.

But mission accomplished still, don't worry! Because there now were millions of Americans who couldn't explain what Hillary did or did not do with "emails" that was allegedly so bad, but they knew that corrupt Hillary did corrupt emails, therefore BAD LADY DEVIL WOMAN. And also BENGHAZI!!!!111!

[wonkbar]<a href="https: //wonkette.substack.com/p/anthony-weiners-dick-explodes-all-over-hillary-clintons-emails"></a>[/wonkbar]But, fuckin' fiddlesticks, she was still so far ahead in the polls. So Comey magically "found" some more Hillary emails, that were written on Anthony Weiner's dick, so he giggle-jizzed as he wrote a letter ELEVEN DAYS BEFORE THE ELECTION to Republican Rep. Jason Chaffetz, the only congressman whose little winkie stiffens as much as Trey Gowdy's does over Hillary investigations, about these new emails. What was in them? Who could say, it's not like James Comey is the FBI or something, oh wait, just kidding he is.

That was good enough to shave a few percentage points off Hillary's polling lead, though! And by the time Comey came back with his tail between his legs to announce that, aw nuts, the new emails were the same as the old emails, DOY DOY DOY NOTHING TO SEE HERE, the damage was done.

So mission accomplished, for real! Hillary Clinton is not about to be inaugurated president of the United States, even though she will have won the popular vote by over three million votes by the time all is said and done. And she probably never would have lost without all Trey Gowdy's Benghazi fever dreams! And Russia's hacking. And Russia's possible collusion with the Trump campaign. And Jill Stein's very existence. Oh, yeah, and Hillary's "bad campaign," you betcha, that's what the history books are going to be talking about, uh huh, OK.

Anyway, fuck Trey Gowdy is the point.

[ USA Today ]