19 Comments
User's avatar
Dashboard Buddha's avatar

I was thinking Meatheads, but Metalheads is better.

Dashboard Buddha's avatar

"As far as I’m concerned, I’m getting some of my tax money back. I’m not stupid, "

Yes, yes you are stupid. You'd be getting some of your tax money back if you were getting grants. But, you are getting loans that have to be paid back...with interest.

How do you manage to stay rich?

Vienna Woods's avatar

I have to share how the Canadian PM, William Lyon Mackenzie King, described said eyes: "his eyes impressed me most of all. There was a liquid quality about them which indicate keen perception and profound sympathy" That always creeps my students out.

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

I'l believe he's a victim of "Chicago-style politics" when they find his body buried under a pile of neon-green relish.

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

I asked if his refrigerator was running, but he hung up on me.

Bezoar's avatar

"Jack the Fabricator"

Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

His eyebrows look the way the sad trombone sounds.

bobbert's avatar

Give a man a Jesus-fish bumper thingie, and he'll be batshit crazy for a day.

Name a man after the Jesus-fish thingie, and he'll apparently dissolve his own brains in stupid, forever.

Zippy W. Pinhead's avatar

Gilchrist skipped the horse and went straight to the horse's ass

Zippy W. Pinhead's avatar

no, no, no! stocks soared because Wall Street is excited about Romney's upcoming election win. I heard it on CNBC, it must be true...

Michael Bauser's avatar

Joe the Plumber was cleverer. He was a PRETEND businessman, so he didn't have an actual business for the Chicago Style Politics to call him at!

Joshua Norton's avatar

<i>As far as I’m concerned, I’m getting some of my tax money back. I’m not stupid, I’m not going to say ‘no.’ Shame on me if I didn’t use what’s available</i>

You know, he could just as easily have said, "I'm a Fox News educated moron" using far fewer words.

Fartknocker's avatar

He should go back to work and finish the car elevator for Mittens new house and the horse elevator for the new addition on Rafalca's barn.

God Emperor Emeritus's avatar

Quoting a conservative verbatim is a gross violation of their freedom of speech. I'm pretty sure it's worse than that time Franklin Delano Hitler flew those 747s into Pearl Harbor and sank the Maddox.

Monsieur_Grumpe's avatar

Well OK then. We will take the money back and Mr I Don't Need No Gubbermint Help can go on making Ayn Rand not roll over in her grave.

Vienna Woods's avatar

And the horse you danced in on!