Half-Live Blogging the Bush Speech
So it turns out the liquor store delivers; we're half-watching the big terror speech after all--and half-blogging it between snorts.
10: 11 Bush says terrorists "evil, not insane." What, so we've administered standardized tests or something?
10: 14 We know they're militant because of the videos and web sites that terrorists release. If only we had adopted that supersecret surveillance tactic during the aftermath of Katrina!
10: 16. First WMD mention! Drink!
10: 17 "They are fanatical extremists and they should not be dismissed" Did we miss something? Is an al Qaeda guy up for a Justice Department job?
10: 18 "A culture of victimization in which someone else is always to blame and violence is always the solution." Wait, isn't that the Martha Stewart Apprentice show? . . .
10: 20 Third 9/11 Mention! Make-up drinks!
10: 21 "No concession, bribe, or act of appeasement would alter their plans for murder." Uh, so the Iraqi Constitution does appear officially doomed, then.
10: 23 "Never back down, never give in, never accept anything less than complete victory." Bush turns to camera and mouths "I love Springsteen."
10: 25 "They are not just the enemies of America or Iraq, they are the enemies of Islam and of humanity." God, they must throw really poorly attended parties.
10: 27. Cowardice vs. Courage! The missing antinomy that's been shackling our efforts! Now that we've figured this out, that whole complete victory thingamee should be a walk in the park!
10: 28 "Free people will own the future." Or at least get it on a time-share.
10: 30 "We're determined to prevent the actions of terror networks before they occur." A significant departure from the old strategy of trying to prevent them after they occur. . .
10: 32 "Evil men with horrendous intentions are working against us." Really, dude, George Soros doesn't have access to to WMDs.
10: 33 "The United States makes no distinction between those who commit acts of terror and those nations who harbor them." Translation: I remembered the main plank of my foreign policy doctrine, and how well it went over after 9/11.
10: 35 "Some observers adopt a self-defeating pessimism." Busted. Ouch.
10: 37 By any measure, Iraq has made amazing progress, from tyranny to elections to a constitution in 2 1/2 years. Too bad about that airport road, though. . .
10: 38 Democracy not a fragile flower, but a healthy sturdy tree. And Osama bin Laden is . . .the Cheshire Cat?
10: 41. "There is no peace without victory." Hello, Richard Nixon.
10: 46 "The love of freedom is the mightiest force in history." Also: The children are the future, and I decided long ago not to walk in anyone's shadow. Thank you, and God bless America.
--HOLLY MARTINS