Happy Birthday Fake President Obama -- We Found Yr 'Bird Certificate'

BAM! Sucker, now resign, or be impeached, because you are a bird now. "WHAT BIRDS LIVE TO BE 48?" doubters like Dave Weigel will ask, and all we have to say is, do you have anything that looks *more* legitimate, excluding that "short-form abortion car registration & title" or whatever it was that Robert Gibbs sent the Daily Kos' Kos last year? Exactly. Congratulations to humanMike P.who sent in the document for our Wonkette Contest. Mike wins a Wonkette T-Shirt! E-mail us, Mike, so we can clothe you! As for you other *losers,* sorry. Let's show some other finalist submissions (demi-losers) below.

Oh well look at this, "Mark" sends us a picture of a giraffe. WE GET IT, GIRAFFES ARE FROM AFRICA, LIKE THE BLACKS. "Mark" is a racist!

"MjP" knows who fabricated all of Orly Taintz's terrible fake Obama birth certificates: that guy from teevee, the hippie painter, who is probably dead! (?)

"Ray S." sends us a creepy porn letter that Bill Clinton sent him. Get over it Bill! Do your own dirty laundry!

Ha ha ha, of course. Did you know that "Dollar Bill" Jefferson's trial just finished its fourth day of jury deliberations? "Teresa M."'s revelation here could complicate things.

Veteran commenter-chieftain "SayItWithWookies" is worried about dipping into cliche here, and thus wants to whine to everyone about all the detail he put in: "I'd just like to point out the flowers that spell out Birfers, and the visages of Rev. Lou Dobbs, Rush Limbaugh, Ayn Rand, Michele Bachmann, the All-Seeing Eye from the United States Seal and Priss the replicant from Blade Runner. Oh, and a KKK hood that I almost forgot was there." Whatever, but fyi: we need to use the term "replicants" much more if we want to remain a proper nerd site.

"r-deen" gives us the top "Sure, why not, here's one of those cat things" entry of the contest.

"Mo Miller, Mo Problems" goes with fancy bookish Science here, and is thus banned from all further Wonkette contests.

Thanks to everyone else who participated in this contest of vague guidelines! Happy birthday to Barack Obama! Your editors have sent the White House its annual gift of Myrrh.