Happy Birthday To Everyone Born Today Who Is Not Donald Trump

Celebrate!

For he is Friedrich. Tuck up extraordinaire. He of the snoot. Goodest of good boys, courtesy of our pal LadyWoman

Happy weekend!

Today is a very, very special day. It is the birthday of Che Guevara, the birthday of Jerzy Kosiński, who wrote the novella Being There which was later turned into the Peter Sellers film that we all know and love, Boy George’s Birthday, International Knit in Public Day (seems like a weird time for that, weather-wise, but okay), National Rosé Day and World Gin Day (both very important to me, personally), and International Bath Day.

You tell ‘em Meredith Marks

Hell, it doesn’t really matter what you’re celebrating as long as you are aggressively not celebrating Donald Trump’s birthday. Many of us, of course, will be going to the No Kings protests today, as there are a few of those here and there.

Fingers crossed that it only rains for him.

Your first present is an alternate ending to Being There, which I’m just going to assume everyone has seen (if not, correct that!).

The real present, of course, is that they went with a much better ending.

I actually got into a bit of a Jerzy Kosiński internet hole yesterday, which I really can’t recommend enough. There’s a lot that I could get into, regarding his being a Polish Jew who survived WWII, some kind of dubious-seeming allegations of plagiarism, etc., but the thing I am pretty stuck on is the fact that he was supposed to be at Roman Polanski’s house the night the Manson Family showed up and killed Sharon Tate, Jay Sebring, Abigail Folger, Wojciech Frykowski, and Steven Parent — and only wasn’t because he lost his luggage at the airport.

Can you imagine? I swear to God I had never heard that before and I honestly thought I knew everything about the Tate-LaBianca murders and the Manson Family.

Your next present is a commercial for a Boy George Karma Chameleon telephone that is my new favorite thing to have ever existed. And it could have been yours, once upon a time, for only $69.99!

I love it so much. Especially this part where it turns to black and white because a man is so frustrated with his normal phone that doesn’t even feature a ladybug playing the harmonica that he throws it in the trash.

He’s so mad about that phone!

It also comes with a certificate of authenticity signed by Boy George himself. According to the Obscure Media subreddit, it came out in 2003, which was the year his musical Taboo bombed on Broadway after having been a huge success in the West End, which actually makes this pretty sad. Personally I think it deserves a Broadway revival, done correctly this time (not that Raul Esparza wasn’t great, because he is always great), especially since a musical about queer club kids might do better now than in 2003.

You know what? Here, have another present!

Good luck out there today! And remember — DO NOT PUT MILK IN YOUR EYES IF YOU GET TEAR GASSED. That’s nonsense. Water works just as well, milk can give you an eye infection. No one wants an eye infection!

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