Happy Halloween To All The Ex-Witches And Satanists Who Found Jesus/'The 700 Club'
There are so many of them!
One of the things I think we all look forward to every Halloween, apart from the traditional warnings about how evil people are spending thousands of dollars on drugs to get your kids high, is the sheer number of "Ex-Witch Finds Jesus" stories Christian outlets pump out — especially the ones where the former witch or Satanic high priest warns parents not to let their good Christian children go trick-or-treating.
One of the most outspoken "ex-witches" these days is Jenny Weaver, who says she became a full-on witch after watching The Craft in high school. But unlike literally every other teen girl who got into Wicca after watching The Craft (I think we can all fairly admit that was a thing), she actually gained magic powers ... over drawers.
“Things were happening. I was moving things,” says Jenny. “I would go up to a drawer to open a drawer and before my hand would even touch it, the drawer would go ‘shhew’ and open."
“Lights would bust and break when we would start talking about the demonic realm, glass fall all over us,” says Jenny.
These don't seem like very good powers. Also it is unclear what she was doing talking about the demonic realm, given that that's not actually a thing in Wicca. Was she literally trying to contact the fictional god Manon from the movie?
Probably! Though I don't think fictional gods give anyone magic drawer powers.
Anyway, Jenny Weaver feels very strongly that you shouldn't let your kids go trick-or-treating or celebrate Halloween, for the usual reasons of "demons," but also because, she claims, the witches of the world will be up all night chanting curses to the Moon God, which is interesting given that it is actually a goddess that represents the moon in Wicca.
Halloween Warning From Ex-Witch www.youtube.com
But Weaver is not alone. There is also John Ramirez, who seems to alternate between saying he was raised as a Satanist in a "demon church," and saying he practiced Santeria, a religion in which Halloween is not actually very much of a thing. He has written several books about this conversion and how he found Jesus, and is very adamant that Christians should not celebrate Halloween.
Take It from Someone Who Used to Talk to Satan: Halloween Is a Bad Idea www.youtube.com
Explaining his background, Ramirez says he was a Satanist for 25 years, starting when he was eight in his local demon church.
"I was being trained by high ranked devil worshipers, warlocks and spiritual witches, training me to know how to take over territory, demonic contracts, demon territory, demon principalities," he said. "I was being trained all the way to the age of 35, sold my soul to the devil, got married on Halloween, had a demonic wedding. I baptized my daughter to the dark side at age 11."
His whole life was witchcraft, he says, and he was just always astral projecting all over the place, cursing regions and capturing souls for Satan.
One of the more fun things you will notice about ex-Satanists-turned-Christians is that they all make it sound very corporate. Almost like an multi-level marketing company or something. Also that they are all high priests. You will never encounter an ex-Satanist turned Christian who was just like, a random guy going to demon church and loving the dark lord.
Also literally the only people you will ever hear about practicing Satanism in this way are ex-Satanists who found Jesus.
Anyway! Ramirez explains that Halloween is not all fun and games and candy. It's candy that "people from different walks of life have prayed over" and that will give the devil legal rights over you or your children in some capacity. In another of Ramirez's videos, which we showcased a few years back, he explained that it actually gives the devil the legal right to turn you into whatever your costume is for that night. So like, if you dress up like The Little Mermaid, you might just wake up the next morning with a fishtail.
Nota bene: this was also the plot to a Season Two episode of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."
"The 700 Club" on CBN is featuring many other stories from ex-witches and ex-Satanists this week, probably to deter people who think Halloween might be a good time to start worshiping the devil.
According to one story from "The 700 Club," a gal named Victoria turned to witchcraft and astral projection (admittedly cooler than drawer-opening powers) when she was 17, did a bunch of drugs and demonic stuff, and then collapsed in front of a church where she found Jesus ... at age 18. But while she was technically only a full-on astral projecting witch for a year at most, Victoria believes it actually started when she was five and demons started talking to her.
When Victoria was 5, other voices entered her life – voices only she could hear. "They (the voices) started to tell me that I'm special and that I'm not like other people and I can never be accepted," recounted Victoria.
In the coming years, Victoria began exploring the supernatural, a search that led her to the study and practice of witchcraft. All the while, there were the voices, encouraging her, leading the way.
"I felt like they understood me," said Victoria. "The witchcraft became more to me than just play. It wasn't play because I knew that stuff was real. Deeper and deeper, I would go into it. Like I would... astral projection, that's where you project your soul out of your body and you travel in the spirit realm. That's where I felt like I had power."
Yes, this definitely seems like a demonic issue and not a serious mental illness of some kind.
Then we've got Simone, who was a high priestess of white witchcraft and an ambassador for Satan (which, again, sounds like some MLM shit) who practiced Santeria and also had magic powers over drawers. This all sounds very real, because certainly these are not disparate belief systems.
"I have no idea how many demons I was delivered from." White Witch freed from Occult www.youtube.com
Via CBN:
She would spend the next 30 years seeking enlightenment and attaining the highest level of 'white witchcraft' – the high priestess. Through Santeria and other forms of spirituality and the occult Simone participated in animal sacrifices.
Simone says, "It was the shedding of blood in which we were able to be cleansed, healed and gain power and rise through levels of initiation."
Adding to the delusion, some taught that one could become like Jesus – but they only considered him to be a teacher who had attained the ultimate enlightenment -- becoming a god through reincarnation and obtaining more 'light.'
Simone shares, "Eventually when I keep coming back I would have that much light. And then when you became completely light, you became the light that came back and fed the other souls working their way up the reincarnation getting reborn ladder."
Luckily, Simone was saved and found Jesus after watching Alice Cooper talk about how he was super into Jesus.
In 2017, desperately seeking truth and peace, Simone stumbled across a video of famed, heavy metal musician Alice Cooper. He was talking about how the one, true, Jesus Christ freed him from alcoholism and gave him a new life.
Simone shares, "I realized that I was an ambassador for Satan. I didn't even know what it meant to have Jesus. I didn't understand it at all, I just knew that my heart cracked open, I knew that He was there, and I knew I was a 'Yes.' When I went through that salvation prayer and there were points of repentance, what really stood out to me was the thinking that I was God, the thinking that my spells were not manipulations of other people and other things. And I just said it out loud and raised my hand to God and I pleaded and repented and prayed over myself."
Like you do.
Anyway, we'd love to wish a Happy Halloween to all of these definitely real ex-witches and ex-Satanists who have now found peace and profit in the fun and exciting world of Christian evangelism. And you know, if they could teach us some drawer magic, we'd be open to it.
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"Joel, this is going to turn into a snuff film."
So I can't sue the devil if I wake up as a mermaid or a sexy nurse? What if I'm a sovereign citizen, can I sue him them since the law doesn't apply to me?