Happy 'Put On Your Own Shoes' Day?
You can do it!
Happy Weekend!
Today is Put On Your Own Shoes Day. What does that mean? Well, according to National Today, that’s open to interpretation.
Put on Your Own Shoes Day is held annually on December 6. Since the origins are not completely known, the creator has given us free rein to use our imaginations. You could see this day as a metaphor for proudly strutting your stuff or teaching a toddler to put on their shoes. The beauty is that it’s up to you.
Do you know how expensive it is to create a holiday? Well, getting listed on that site is going to run you at least $5000 — and that appears to be the low end for things. I know that when Stassi Schroeder of Vanderpump Rules tried to make National Outfit of the Day Day a thing (which remains very confusing, logistically), it cost her $40,000 and then she found out it was only good for for one year.
So I just really have to wonder about the person who created “Put Your Own Shoes On” Day — which is every day, for most people who leave the house, unless they are physically unable to do so, in which case this is a pretty rude holiday — and spent whatever they spent on that. I mean, you could pay retail for 5-10 Louboutins for that, if you are that het up about shoes.
It’s also Crate Day, and frankly I have questions about whoever spent good money on that one as well.
Apropos of nothing, your first present this week is Ethel Merman’s disco version of “Alexander’s Ragtime Band,” which is a thing that exists.
Also, apropos of nothing, I bring you an Orson Welles … magic special? Sure, why not! He’s wearing a cape and a jaunty hat and honestly I’m kind of into that.
But I do wonder — was everything Orson Welles did in his later years just completely insane? I feel like I should look into this more. Enjoy!
Have you been struck with a sudden urge to shower us with money and jewels? If so, we are on Substack now so you can just go ahead and click subscribe! Click click click!!
Or if you’d just like to donate just once …
You can also join our Patreon, or buy our merch.
You can even send us paper checks to:
Wonkette
PO Box 38273
Detroit MI 48238
Talk amongst yourselves!




One of my favorite things to read besides Wonkette is Postcards to That Asshole from your Aunt Aoife, The Estivating Hibernian. These are actual postcards actually sent to That Asshole. They might never reach him but I am sure plenty of people along the postcards’ journey appreciate them.
https://open.substack.com/pub/theestivatinghibernian/p/postcards-to-that-asshole-19?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web
Axl just did a full body stretch right in front of me, showing off how limber and pain-free his spine is.
Rude.