Harris Faulkner DISGUSTED By 'MILF' Show, Would Like To Talk About JESUS INSTEAD!

APPALLING!

Harris Faulkner may be better at pretending to be appalled than any of the other on-air talent at Fox News. We charitably assume she is pretending to be appalled, obviously, that she is a complete fake who correctly surmised that she could rise to the top of the daytime crew if she just out-batshitted them all. You know, at least until Boxwine-Thirty in the afternoon.

If Faulkner is not pretending, then that would mean she really is the doofus we see on our TVs all the time. For her sake, we pray that is not the case.

Harris Faulkner looks her viewers in the eye, gets that very serious look on her face — like she's about to tell you Santa Claus ran over your puppy dog with his sleigh and now everyone's dead — and tells them that GOP Senator Tom Cotton pulling up his hoop skirt and angrily shaking his Arkansas-square-dancing pantaloons at Merrick Garland for eight solid minutes is RIVETING and SERIOUS BUSINESS.

Harris Faulkner HOW VERY DARE HE's when Joe Manchin comes on Fox News and calls Fox News a liar right to its face. She invokes the Bible and her father's military service, and oh, the indignation!

Harris Faulkner FEMINIST HERO HOW VERY DARE THEY's when the girl M&Ms are upside down on the package. "Thank you very much, WE STAND ON OUR OWN! We don't need to be shown on a package, LOOKIN' CRAZY UPSIDE DOWN!"

“Stephen Colbert does brilliant impression mocking Fox News host Harris Faulkner. (Video: CBS)”

— Mike Sington (@Mike Sington) 1673442394 

And today, dear ones, Harris Faulkner is OUTRAGED because she's not allowed to talk about HER FAITH, but instead has to talk about what the "F" in "MILF" stands for, which is a MYSTERY to nobody who is normal. But to be fair, the average senile old white Fox-News-obsessed goat may have missed the cultural phenomenon called American Pie when it came out 23 entire years ago, because that's how far into the grave the average Fox News viewer is, they were too old to laugh at Stifler's Mom jokes when that movie came out .  

“Fox News host Harris Faulkner: "We can't be bold in faith, but we want to know what the F stands for in MILF? Disgusting."”

— Aaron Rupar (@Aaron Rupar) 1673974919 

Anyway, there is some new TV dating show on TLC called "MILF Manor." Faulkner and her guest were not pleased with it.

She said:

"The next time I start to talk about faith, I don't even wanna hear it from people. Like that's ridiculous! We can't be bold in faith, but we wanna know what the 'F' stands for in 'MILF.' Disgusting!"

LOL fucking shut up.

Nobody is stopping Harris Faulkner from talking about whatever nerd alert faith she says she has and the "F" in "MILF" stands for "fuck" and pretty much everybody in America knows that just like pretty much everybody in America uses the word "fuck" from time to time.

Again, we hope to God that she is pretending. It is much more comforting to think of Faulkner as simply an operator who gamed the Murdoch system and is laughing all the way to the bank.

If not, bless her heart.

OPEN THREAD.

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