Harry Reid: I Already Compromised With Boehner On Amount Of Funding, In Private, Like A Gentleman

Harry Reid sat down with Dana Bash after he did not actually tell her that he hates cancer kids, but kinda did tell her she was being "reckless and irresponsible" in front of her peers, which was not very nice. Here he leads with: "You know I am not known for being real 'articulate,'" and no he did not actually do air quotes but we are trying to describe it for you in case you don't want to watch four minutes of Harry Reid saying all the right things but saying them So Badly. Here's the main thing, though: People want Harry Reid to compromise with John Boehner? Harry Reid is way ahead of them. Dude compromised in "the first part of September," which is like, four parts ago! Say what?

"[Boehner] said 'Here's my deal: You've got to take our amount: $988 billion.' I said we can't do that, we've got $70 billion more than that. Patty Murray worked really hard to get a budget. I can't agree to 988. He said we've got to do that. So we spent some more time together [yeah right], and I agreed to that. That was really hard."

We are 100% certain that this happened exactly as Harry Reid said it did, even though there is no way of verifying his account and we didn't even try, because that is how things work now. Harry Reid already compromised. He gave you back $70 billion of Your Money because big honest proud strong John Boehner made him. It was hard! But Harry saw the light, and he is redeemed, and John Boehner is a national hero, now can we please vote to have a real government again? And then can we change the primary system so a small handful of the nation's dumbest, angriest losers aren't responsible for selecting major party nominees?

Won't someone negotiate with us? In exchange we promise we will continue picking up after ourselves and caring for people who we don't even know, just because they're people. And we will stop calling you stupid. Unless you're being stupid.

[ YouTube ]