Haven't You Always Wanted A Monkey? Tabs, Thurs., July 10, 2025

Morning news roundup and things to read

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Good morning what are we reading today it’s TABS!

Sixteen years ago, Zohran Mamdani only got in the 97th percentile on his SATs, which the New York Post says is bad somehow even though it was in the middle for admitted students to Columbia? Also something about Black test scores as hypothesized without any evidence but the racism, by “independent journalist” Chris Rufo? And lots of stuff about how Mamdani was doing affirmative action? And it’s the SECOND TO LAST SENTENCE where they point out HE DID NOT GET IN? (New York Post)

I hadn’t even heard that 10 presumed lefties came in body armor to ambush and shoot up an ICE facility in Texas on the Fourth of July. You’ll forgive me for channeling Alex Jones, but the alleged “Fight ICE terror with class war” leaflets and “Resist fascism, fight oligarchy” flag seem a little on-the-nose. But maybe! Some people are like that I guess! (AP)

Guess it’s time to learn about the Years of Lead! (Middlebury)

In 2021, Joe Biden gave Kerr County, Texas, $10 million which they didn’t want because Joe Biden but they kept anyway. At any rate, they didn’t spend it on an alert system. (Kerr County Lead)

Welp. I regret to inform you: Charlie Kirk found a Black fire chief in Texas. (That said, I don’t like where they clipped it.) (Media Matters) Dok looked into it for me (thanks Dok!) and the issue is that the Black Austin fire chief lost a vote of confidence from his union after refusing mutual aid requests before the floods hit Kerr County, though he did obviously respond with equipment after. Anyway, Charlie Kirk knows that’s from “Black.” What a weird, unreconstructed racist! (Statesman)

Lyz Lenz went to the Iowa Trump rally and everybody was gross and a bummer :( (Men Yell at Me)

When Industry is begging you not to shut down the Industry Accidents Investigation Unit. (Gift link New York Times)

JD Vance does not think all men are created equally. I mean it’s obvious, but also he said so. (John Ganz at Unpopular Front)

Who goes MAGA? (Techdirt)

Since I said the other day that LA Mayor Karen Bass should be lauded for her hard work on LA’s homelessness crisis, it should be noted Los Angeles is clearing homeless people’s tents but not necessarily housing them. (LA Times)

Heart eyes, heart eyes, Zion National Park has an electric shuttle now and the smog is gone!!! (Reasons to Be Cheerful)

I had never heard of The Salt Path until right this minute but DANG WOW GIRL THEY IN TROUBLE. (Observer)

“Monkey Business” is some good procrastination right there. (JP Brammer)

Haven’t you always wanted a monkey?

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Coming WONKMEETS!

Join me, Shy, and the kids in ANACORTES, WASHINGTON, Sunday, July 13, 4-6 p.m. at Washington Park! We’ll buy some fried chicken and beer, come and hang out! We’ll be near the playground near Sunset Beach.

Join me, Shy, the kids, and Dok in SEATTLE, Sunday, July 20, 3-6 p.m. at Lincoln Park near the North Play Area! We’ll be coming off a weeklong trip to Shy’s family cabin (built by his dad and his grandpa with their hands in the 1960s!) in the San Juans, so help us out and come potluck!

Join Thalia and Menotsure in ATLANTA, Saturday, July 26, 5-8 p.m. at Reformation Brewery for a lovely evening of brewing up good trouble! Reformation Brewery has both indoor and outdoor seating, has food available, and is both pet- and kid-friendly. Please email Thalia at realistic.caregiving@gmail.com to RSVP.

Do YOU want to host a Wonkmeet in your neck of the woods? Seize the means of Wonkmeet production, and email me at rebecca at wonkette dot com with the deets!

Wonkette has parties! You should

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