Hayden Hearing Livebloggin': How Many Damn Senators Are On This Committee?
4: 26-- Wyden: "This summer you were the public relations frontman for the warrantless wiretapping program, today you say you want to keep the CIA out of the news."
BURN! Aww, Wyden's so cute. Problem with overclassification, he says. "Alcoholic beverage preferences of some politicians gets classified." Whoa, really? Whose? Kennedy's a whiskey guy, we're guessing Snowe likes a stiff gin and tonic.
They're kicking Wyden off now. He issogonna cry. Back to Levin? Oy.
4: 18-- It's the lightening round! Back to Levin! Five minutes! How 'bout torture? How 'bout FISA? How 'bout "content"? "Content" means "everything between 'hello' and 'goodbye.'" So terrorists can really trip them up by starting conversations with "Wuzzzuuuuuupppp" and finishing with "Catch you on the flip side."
OH MY GOD WE CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. WE ALL KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO CONFIRM THE SONUVABITCH. He could reveal that he routinely dissects puppies for sexual pleasure and slept with the chairman's wife, and Levin and Bayh would still be asking him how he thinks they should re-write FISA to do whatever the fuck they're already doing.
Well, at least Levin brought up Scooter Libby for no reason. Our ears perked up, at least. Back to Wyden!
4: 10-- Back to regular order! Back to Bond! Everyone only gets five minutes! ButLinusWyden was promised two more 20-minute questioning periods! Ha ha, Wyden, no one likes you!
4: 02-- Hayden's entire testimony: "You're not afraid to call a ball a strike on the back of the inside plate when it's the bottom of the 9th and you're up by three runs and you hear the two-minute warning and your linebacker's got a torn ACL and your kicker's in the penalty box and the line judge gives you a yellow card and..."
3: 53-- "Hello, I'm Senator Bayh. Have you noticed my calm, smooth demeanor, and impressive chin? Aren't I reasonable? How about my hair? Is it or is it not TV-ready? How about that wry look I have while I listen to you dodge by reasonable-but-tough question? It's about as wry as a Senator can get, no? Allow me to ever-so-slightly trip you up with a calm, smooth question."
3: 40-- The only interesting part of Chambliss' questioning was when Hayden said leakers would be round up and shot. Or something like that, we're getting kinda tipsy.
Mikulski's on now, and she reminds us of one of our grandma's neighbor friends. She compliments Hayden on his solid, blue-collar background. JUST A STEEL-TOWN BOY ON A HEARING DAY.
We take it back, Mikulski is clearly our 6th grade teacher who NEVER LIKED US. She's banging her shoe on the table and just said something like "I DON'T CARE IF PORTER GOSS WAS A NICE GUY, HE SUCKED."
Mikulski's trying to be all tough and hard-hitting but her tough, hard-hitting questions are things he already explicitly answered in the affirmative.
WTF? "The ga-ga factor" of the President? No shit that's "not the most exact phrase!" It makes no sense! Oy, Mikulski. Do you know what hearing you're even in? Colin Powell and the UN now?