So bored by all of these so-serious cocktail scientists gravely hovering over Nick & Nora glasses with their droppers and oil washes and exotic powders like they're creating consumable Ice-9, when what the cocktail world needs is an imaginative garnish like this one.
Sure, it's all fun-and-games until you're spinning so fast that you get hurled off, fly through the air, land on the ground with a skinned knee, and cry like you're dying until the teacher in charge of recess comes to tell you that you'll be all right with a small bandage on the scrape. Not that something like that ever happened to me in 1st grade...
In my day the treatment was iodine, merthiolate, or peroxide. Mercurochrome didn't sting so everybody thought it wasn't strong enough. To fix things, it had to sting. (Merthiolate is a real no-no now but it was in everyone's med cabinet way back when.)
Today I learned that Mercurochrome hasn't been sold in the US since 1998 because it actually contained mercury. I no longer feel cheated about growing up in the iodine-for-skinned-knees era.
"My oldest boy, Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival comes into Town every year? Well this year they came through with a ride Called The Mixer. The man said, "Keep your head, and arms, inside
The Mixer at all times." But Bill Jr, he was a DAAAREDEVIL! Just like his old man! He was leaning out saying "Hey everybody, Look at me! Look at me!" Pow! He was decapitated! They found
his head over by the snow cone concession!" - Stuart, by the Dead Milkmen
Hakeem Jeffries was asked by some talking head about Mamdani's rent-stabilized apartment and said that Mamdani was going to have to address that issue with the voters before the election.
Interestingly, Jeffries did not say that Cuomo was going to have to address the issue of his sexual assaults with the voters before the election, nor did he say that Adams was going to have to address the issue of the rampant corruption in his administration with the voters before the election, nor did he say that Sliwa was going to have to address his staged attacks on innocent POC with the voters before the election.
Ta, Rebecca. Ta, Martini. Today, my darling husband Meccalopolis and I celebrate our first wedding anniversary. 💕🥂💖💞❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🩹❣️We've decided to be newlyweds for life. I'm baking a cake later. Good day, beloved Wonketteers. I love and appreciate you all and I bless us all with love, health, peace, and grace.
Please, please stay safe. Wear a mask or two, wash your hands, sanitize when you cannot wash and let the sanitizer dry completely, stop touching your face, take Vitamin D, get a booster shot six months after your last, and catch up on any other vaccinations you need, avoid indoor and crowded outdoor gatherings and when you must meet, remove masks only to eat, drink, and take quick photos, and stay the fuck away from me and everyone with whom you do not share a roof. Do this because you love yourself, and because I love you, too. Do this in memory of dear departed family and friends like Forever 27 Treg and heroic Tony, Holly's pilot friend, among nearly eight million dead worldwide. Do this to honor the nurses and other frontline medical personnel (we love and appreciate you, Medicos of Wonkette), particularly ICU Hera Mrs Land Shark RN. Be kind, especially to yourself, and please stay safe.
"Via TFN, here’s a story to make your blood boil on Democratic leaders being the exact shitfucks that the most annoying people you know have accused them of being the whole time."
I did not think this through. So, I have a gun safe, and to keep it safe, I lock the key to it in a separate small safe where I store things like my passport. The small safe has a keypad that requires batteries (yes, I'm sure you know where I am going with this), and the batteries can only be accessed by opening the safe. In case the batteries die -- which they have-- there is an override key. Which I have locked in my gun safe. I did not think this through (although, in my defense, it has worked out fine for over 15 years). While there are no children in the house, I am not going to break the gun safe and end up with unsecured firearms, so I guess I'll be taking an angle grinder to the much more secure small safe. I definitely did not think this through.
I was wise enough to put it in that small safe. Which, it turns out, is where I put the key for the small safe as well. Almost as safe as forgetting it.
I’m too obsessed with security and inconvenience to use a glass case. So, in a metal safe, behind some extra flooring, a roll of carpeting, some old wooden tv dinner tables, and a few other things so that when seconds count, it will take me a good 5-10 minutes if I wanted to get the safe open.
I once had this asshole boss who was so proud of himself because his car had keypad locks for the door, so when he would park it somewhere, he'd lock his keys in the car, knowing that he could use the keypad to unlock it.
Well, once when he travelled to DC, he parked his car at the airport (it's a four hour drive, but he just HAD to fly!), threw his keys in, and locked the car. Little did he know that he left the dome light on, killing his battery. So when he arrived back from DC, he couldn't use the keypad to unlock his car, and had to call a locksmith. I'm sure he charged our company for his troubles, because he was an asshole that way.
My story does have a happy ending, though - that asshole boss is dead now.
OT-- I read the obits daily hoping to find ex-president of company I resigned from 32 years ago dead. Icing on the cake would be that he died painfully and alone.
From what I have heard, my old asshole boss did die alone and unloved. Plus whatever disease he died from took his voice. And since he'd been an AM DJ before he decided the local public broadcasting station should be his personal kingdom/place to fuck underlings behind both his wives' backs, I hope that hurt him even more.
I don’t remember how much this thing cost, and I just want to get to my passport, so I’m breaking out the angle grinder, maybe an impact driver with a chisel, and trying to remember if I have anything in there that wouldn’t survive a 20 fall onto concrete. One way or the other, I’m going to be the one who gets into this fucking thing.
. . . and I’m in. Just had to remove a panel, then drill out the hidden override lock. Now I have a very solid cabinet that I can’t trust to be opened again if I find a way to close it.
Had kind of a bad night last night--felt chest pain and shaking and a little trouble breathing. So tired. Went to bed super early and woke up a bunch with rushing heart and mind.
Woke up though, feeling pretty good.
I have to go and be good at work--I have a bunch of things I need to get done and then vacation! A little work has to happen then, but still, vacation! We'll be with my parents, and my mom will drive me crazy, but still--vacation!
I think the racing heart and all was just my having to get stuff done and having to remember things, and knowing my mom will at some point annoy me, but it should be okay.
Thank you to the overnight crew for making me laugh last night when I was scared.
I just said this morning I should maybe get checked out for that. About 5 years ago my doctor checked me out for heart issues, because my anorexia was bad and I felt like my heart was "funny". She said it was fine then, but still.
It's time to equate the 2026 elections with the 1932 elections in Germany. The Germans had their last chance to throw the Nazis out and instead, voted them their first-ever governmental majority.
The 2026 elections may be our last chance to vote the modern-day American Nazis out of power. And there can be no doubt today's GOP ***ARE*** modern-day Nazis. Troops in the street, federalization of a city's police force, suspension of habeas corpus - the list goes on and on and on.
While we're at it, everyone who comes into contact with the National Guard or other military personnel that are illegally imposing what amounts to martial law in America needs to tell them that the excuse of "I am just following orders" did not work in the Nuremberg trials.
I remember that guest post fondly. I knew which one it would be the INSTANT 'Trix mentioned her brother.
Also too, 'Trix, if I am ever faced with extreme banhammer sanctioning, I will be sure to argue that you yourself said that deploying the dead hooker disposal unit and threatening to fistfuck a rightwing turd with his own baseball cap is "okay, because hyperbole " Especially if you're a Marine. 😅
TY for all the news, good and bad, and for the Petri. I miss reading her, but am subscribed to as many things as I can afford, right now...maybe more.
Xitter is most certainly shitter, because Skum is a pile of rancid ordure without heart, conscience, or empathy - because "empathy was the downfall of the western world."
Pandamomentium! Your hed gif source info: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/whee-panda
And meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/d4881f3b-6b3a-4357-a1a6-887a08611939?utm_source=share
Have a nice weekend!
As always, I would love to know what that Panda's thinking?
Like the panda, and would have loved to sit in that .... whatever it is the panda is playing in.
Joni Mitchel "The Circle Game."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NEkJhBHh54
So bored by all of these so-serious cocktail scientists gravely hovering over Nick & Nora glasses with their droppers and oil washes and exotic powders like they're creating consumable Ice-9, when what the cocktail world needs is an imaginative garnish like this one.
Needs a big honkin' glass, not that I would ever complain ;o)
Remember to separate your whites and darks when spin drying.
So much whee!😁
Life is a spinning bowl of panda!🐼
There is a Pandapedia.
Proof that Crom exists!
I know exotic dancers
Are clever with a pole
But it really takes a panda
To get sassy in a bowl.
When they finally get around to making night clubs with spinning panda entertainment, I’ll be there!
Where do I stuff the dollar bills?
In their little pandapockets, where else? (Ya gotta study pandanatomy.)
Save me a seat.
Just like many human children find out, so shall the young panda find out...
We all have different tolerance for the spinning...
H̶e̶ 𝘚𝘩𝘦 do look awfully casual, I am betting that this isn't h̶i̶s̶ ̶ 𝘩𝘦𝘳 first time.
I think I see a touch of regret in the panda's face in the very last frame. But she'll be back to spinning in no time!
Is girl, named QiYing, born June '24! Just babby!
Thank you!
I didn't know that they make teacup pandas!!
Sure, it's all fun-and-games until you're spinning so fast that you get hurled off, fly through the air, land on the ground with a skinned knee, and cry like you're dying until the teacher in charge of recess comes to tell you that you'll be all right with a small bandage on the scrape. Not that something like that ever happened to me in 1st grade...
Mercurochrome or GTFO!
In my day the treatment was iodine, merthiolate, or peroxide. Mercurochrome didn't sting so everybody thought it wasn't strong enough. To fix things, it had to sting. (Merthiolate is a real no-no now but it was in everyone's med cabinet way back when.)
Today I learned that Mercurochrome hasn't been sold in the US since 1998 because it actually contained mercury. I no longer feel cheated about growing up in the iodine-for-skinned-knees era.
Change teacher to nun and that describes my experience also.
"My oldest boy, Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival comes into Town every year? Well this year they came through with a ride Called The Mixer. The man said, "Keep your head, and arms, inside
The Mixer at all times." But Bill Jr, he was a DAAAREDEVIL! Just like his old man! He was leaning out saying "Hey everybody, Look at me! Look at me!" Pow! He was decapitated! They found
his head over by the snow cone concession!" - Stuart, by the Dead Milkmen
I wonder what bamboo barf looks like
It is used in Arizona to make ballots.
very expensive pillows, apparently....
"Check this out, angular momentum and moment of inertia!"
QiYing translates to "long levers" in english.*
*But not in this time line.
QiYing has such a joyful look on her face, she certainly is mentally saying "Whee!"
I would like to be a big dumb panda but I am a big dumb kitten.
Yeah, but kittens and pandas both will chew on bamboo if given a chance.
Hakeem Jeffries was asked by some talking head about Mamdani's rent-stabilized apartment and said that Mamdani was going to have to address that issue with the voters before the election.
Interestingly, Jeffries did not say that Cuomo was going to have to address the issue of his sexual assaults with the voters before the election, nor did he say that Adams was going to have to address the issue of the rampant corruption in his administration with the voters before the election, nor did he say that Sliwa was going to have to address his staged attacks on innocent POC with the voters before the election.
Fucking Democrats.
"We're here to make Los Angeles a safer place -- by leaving random piles of bullets in front of schools."
Right.
Somebody needs to call DOGE about that wastefraudandabuse™. Bullets don't grow on trees, you know.
To the average person, police leaving bullets on a sidewalk or a driveway, in front of a police target, maybe be an accident.
But it isn’t. It is a message. A message if intimidation. It is fully intentional.
Props to The Bulwark for using "raises the question" instead of "begs the question." There is hope for humanity after all.
/rant
The Trumpstapo needs you! Sign up today.
Yes, folks, we're giving eighteen-year-olds $50,000 and a gun. What could go wrong?
Ta, Rebecca. Ta, Martini. Today, my darling husband Meccalopolis and I celebrate our first wedding anniversary. 💕🥂💖💞❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🩹❣️We've decided to be newlyweds for life. I'm baking a cake later. Good day, beloved Wonketteers. I love and appreciate you all and I bless us all with love, health, peace, and grace.
Please, please stay safe. Wear a mask or two, wash your hands, sanitize when you cannot wash and let the sanitizer dry completely, stop touching your face, take Vitamin D, get a booster shot six months after your last, and catch up on any other vaccinations you need, avoid indoor and crowded outdoor gatherings and when you must meet, remove masks only to eat, drink, and take quick photos, and stay the fuck away from me and everyone with whom you do not share a roof. Do this because you love yourself, and because I love you, too. Do this in memory of dear departed family and friends like Forever 27 Treg and heroic Tony, Holly's pilot friend, among nearly eight million dead worldwide. Do this to honor the nurses and other frontline medical personnel (we love and appreciate you, Medicos of Wonkette), particularly ICU Hera Mrs Land Shark RN. Be kind, especially to yourself, and please stay safe.
Slava Ukraini. 🌻🇺🇦💙💛
Molotov! ;-)
Many congratulations 💕❤️
✨💖✨
"Via TFN, here’s a story to make your blood boil on Democratic leaders being the exact shitfucks that the most annoying people you know have accused them of being the whole time."
Told you so.
I did not think this through. So, I have a gun safe, and to keep it safe, I lock the key to it in a separate small safe where I store things like my passport. The small safe has a keypad that requires batteries (yes, I'm sure you know where I am going with this), and the batteries can only be accessed by opening the safe. In case the batteries die -- which they have-- there is an override key. Which I have locked in my gun safe. I did not think this through (although, in my defense, it has worked out fine for over 15 years). While there are no children in the house, I am not going to break the gun safe and end up with unsecured firearms, so I guess I'll be taking an angle grinder to the much more secure small safe. I definitely did not think this through.
I just put the gun safe key somewhere I'll never remember. Can't get much more secure than that!
I was wise enough to put it in that small safe. Which, it turns out, is where I put the key for the small safe as well. Almost as safe as forgetting it.
Up until a few months ago, I kept all my guns in a nice glass front oak cabinet. The safe was just to get them out of my “parlor”.
I’m too obsessed with security and inconvenience to use a glass case. So, in a metal safe, behind some extra flooring, a roll of carpeting, some old wooden tv dinner tables, and a few other things so that when seconds count, it will take me a good 5-10 minutes if I wanted to get the safe open.
I once had this asshole boss who was so proud of himself because his car had keypad locks for the door, so when he would park it somewhere, he'd lock his keys in the car, knowing that he could use the keypad to unlock it.
Well, once when he travelled to DC, he parked his car at the airport (it's a four hour drive, but he just HAD to fly!), threw his keys in, and locked the car. Little did he know that he left the dome light on, killing his battery. So when he arrived back from DC, he couldn't use the keypad to unlock his car, and had to call a locksmith. I'm sure he charged our company for his troubles, because he was an asshole that way.
My story does have a happy ending, though - that asshole boss is dead now.
OT-- I read the obits daily hoping to find ex-president of company I resigned from 32 years ago dead. Icing on the cake would be that he died painfully and alone.
From what I have heard, my old asshole boss did die alone and unloved. Plus whatever disease he died from took his voice. And since he'd been an AM DJ before he decided the local public broadcasting station should be his personal kingdom/place to fuck underlings behind both his wives' backs, I hope that hurt him even more.
hmmm, a DJ without a voice is painful karma, if you ask me.
I do love a happy ending.
Maybe call a locksmith? Safe cracker?
I don’t remember how much this thing cost, and I just want to get to my passport, so I’m breaking out the angle grinder, maybe an impact driver with a chisel, and trying to remember if I have anything in there that wouldn’t survive a 20 fall onto concrete. One way or the other, I’m going to be the one who gets into this fucking thing.
I think a locksmith would just break out _their_ angle grinder. And charge you for the privilege of watching them do it.
. . . and I’m in. Just had to remove a panel, then drill out the hidden override lock. Now I have a very solid cabinet that I can’t trust to be opened again if I find a way to close it.
So many rules and policies meant to keep armed lunatics out of schools, but those rules don't apply to these f'ing thugs, apparently.
Protests tomorrow nationwide supporting Texas.
https://substack.com/@cynmac/note/c-145695871
Had kind of a bad night last night--felt chest pain and shaking and a little trouble breathing. So tired. Went to bed super early and woke up a bunch with rushing heart and mind.
Woke up though, feeling pretty good.
I have to go and be good at work--I have a bunch of things I need to get done and then vacation! A little work has to happen then, but still, vacation! We'll be with my parents, and my mom will drive me crazy, but still--vacation!
I think the racing heart and all was just my having to get stuff done and having to remember things, and knowing my mom will at some point annoy me, but it should be okay.
Thank you to the overnight crew for making me laugh last night when I was scared.
Has your regular doc checked you for a-fib ?
I know extra appts are a pain but we're all so anxious right now
💙
I just said this morning I should maybe get checked out for that. About 5 years ago my doctor checked me out for heart issues, because my anorexia was bad and I felt like my heart was "funny". She said it was fine then, but still.
"5 years ago" *nods*
It gets harder for us to hold onto muscle 💪 as we advance in years past about 26 or so, I understand, especially as women
And especially as "you look so thin" is so often as celebratory in our culture as "just don't let that abusive boss get to you; he's just like that"
Peeps - and even docs, sometimes - overlook that the heart ❤ is a muscle too
Joy in the smol things.
https://substack.com/profile/380693378-cookie-lady/note/c-145699020?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=6ankw2
It's time to equate the 2026 elections with the 1932 elections in Germany. The Germans had their last chance to throw the Nazis out and instead, voted them their first-ever governmental majority.
The 2026 elections may be our last chance to vote the modern-day American Nazis out of power. And there can be no doubt today's GOP ***ARE*** modern-day Nazis. Troops in the street, federalization of a city's police force, suspension of habeas corpus - the list goes on and on and on.
While we're at it, everyone who comes into contact with the National Guard or other military personnel that are illegally imposing what amounts to martial law in America needs to tell them that the excuse of "I am just following orders" did not work in the Nuremberg trials.
In fact, most who used that excuse were hung.
The 2026 elections? Assumes that not every large city will not be like D.C.right now. (aka "test run")
I remember that guest post fondly. I knew which one it would be the INSTANT 'Trix mentioned her brother.
Also too, 'Trix, if I am ever faced with extreme banhammer sanctioning, I will be sure to argue that you yourself said that deploying the dead hooker disposal unit and threatening to fistfuck a rightwing turd with his own baseball cap is "okay, because hyperbole " Especially if you're a Marine. 😅
TY for all the news, good and bad, and for the Petri. I miss reading her, but am subscribed to as many things as I can afford, right now...maybe more.
Xitter is most certainly shitter, because Skum is a pile of rancid ordure without heart, conscience, or empathy - because "empathy was the downfall of the western world."