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Mason Currey's avatar

Thanks for the shout-out, Sara! Excellent advice here. Also, 15+ hours on an essay is nothing!

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Oh my gosh, did I get drunk and forget that I wrote that first question? It is so me and so relatable.

Love you , lady. Thanks for helping me keep on keepin’ on.

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Cock Blockula's avatar

There's always "Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too".

Or Trump University.

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Cock Blockula's avatar

To be a writer, develop a thick skin.

To listen to any kind of Republican blather, develop a thick skin.

Same answer to two different problems.

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Rev. Paleotectonics's avatar

I’ve wrat two books of light sci-fi. Still have one manuscript and a few rejection letters (under the theory that they would be motivating).

One letter said para “I know what you were reading with each chapter typed. Not plagiarism but very much ‘influenced by’.” And looking back he was right. Here’s Greg Bear, here’s Foundation, here’s the Stainless Steel Rat, here’s (blech) XAnthony (I was 17 and didn’t realize how creepy he is!!).

Still appreciated that the reviewer had read it and thought a little…

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suziq's avatar

I read a lot. A LOT a lot. I am very unhappy about this trend I have noticed lately where saying are not used correctly. Some bother me more than others but what I am seeing a lot and really is driving me crazy is "he may think whatever, but he has another thing coming". So first couple times I was wondering if it was some sort of speak-to-text or whatever ya call it that got it wrong. THEN there was a book where the author addressed it and kind of decided you could use it either way. What? If you think something and you are wrong, you have another think coming. Because you thunk wrong the first time. What "thing" would you even have coming? It kinda bothered me the first 500 times but now that it is 5000 times I have gone totally nuts. I was reading a blurb from an author that got it right and said something about it. Was surprised when she answered, but sad to say she said when she writes that phrase correctly people complain! They are stupid people-stay strong authors!! I usually get books from the library but I went and bought one of her books just because she was nice (and correct). End rant, as you were.

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Froglooksfunny's avatar

This also drives me crazy!

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Charles  Schlotter's avatar

Goodman Ace used to write slightly-off sayings for his wife/co-star Jane. A couple that stick in my mind are:

You could have knocked me over with a fender.

and

But that is either here or there.

I just thought of one that I believe is my own original:

If she thinks that jewelry looks good on her, she has another bling coming.

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Plain Marie's avatar

I used to say "half of six or twelve of the other," but that was spontaneous malarkypropism..

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H-Bob's avatar

Or "... she won't have another bling coming."😉

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DDB9000's avatar

Goodman Ace and Jane. Now there's two names one rarely hears anymore!

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Charles  Schlotter's avatar

You'd think they'd be in "People" magazine all the time:

"Easy Aces, Their Real Story"

"Who Wore It Better: Gracie Allen or Jane Ace?"

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OneYieldRegular's avatar

For all intensive purposes, most people could care less in this doggy-dog world.

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Charles  Schlotter's avatar

Now you're blaming the massageur.

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Opalescent Riddles's avatar

I blame Judas Priest and their song You've Got Another Thing Coming

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WtuoFv4dcwM

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Charles  Schlotter's avatar

If Donald Trump thinks the Jack Smith has flipped witness before, he has another fink coming.

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suziq's avatar

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

I have probably heard it but for sure I won't listen to that!

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Aardvark's avatar

You might enjoy the reddit dedicated to misheard sayings https://www.reddit.com/r/BoneAppleTea/

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suziq's avatar

Thanks, there are some weird ones there for sure. Sometimes it is auto-correct, or I even notice sometimes I type the wrong spelling by accident too. But when they repeat the same weird saying in the same post you just gotta wonder.

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DDB9000's avatar

I have no stupidphone, bt nowadays search engines online are making more INTENTIONAL mistakes. Don't even think of looking up the birds that are called swifts.

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Momo's avatar

All this talk about writing got me thinking about how much I've written that is now gathering cobwebs. I'm like a builder who creates mansions that were never lived in, or I paved a road that will never see traffic. Or better yet, my writings are faux-Roman ruins in the backyard of a great English country estate. Just something fancy and bold, with no functional purpose beyond my pleasure.

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PuraVida's avatar

A folly.

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Momo's avatar

Thank you! I knew there was a simple word used to describe faux-Roman ruins in the backyards of great English country estates.

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H-Bob's avatar

So Erasmus was an architectural critic?

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Momo's avatar

Man, that guy could do it all. His obituary takes three weeks to read.

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James Baskin's avatar

Divorce is always an option

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Meccalopolis's avatar

I don't have much advice beyond what's been posted here. Likewise, as my old literary advisor, Ñacuñán Sáez (may his memory always be a blessing) told me, writer's write.

I will say, that in my experience, the more you write, the better you get, with the added bonus of it coming easier.

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1st light's avatar

Ok, if "writer" is plural there's no need for an apostrophe.

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Meccalopolis's avatar

Oh, and get a proofreader.

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Msgr MΩment, Neurodegenerate's avatar

Hey! What about us?! Great reading requires oodles of creativity too, not to mention great non-commenting.

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Bitter Scribe's avatar

OK, since this seems to be the advice thread and I'm a natural-born didact, I'm going to share a second bit of advice:

The most common complaint I hear from struggling writers, especially amateur ones, is: "I can't get started. I'm stuck. I have writer's block. I don't know how to begin."

And when I'm asked, my advice is always the same: The way to get started is to GET STARTED. Break the white plane.

By which I mean, get something, ANYTHING, on that screen. Put down literally the first thing that pops into your head when you think about your topic.

Let it be banal, even idiotic. It could be as simple as something like "[Topic] is important." That leads to "because..." and the next thought.

Don't worry about grammar, usage or even coherence. Just get something into that white rectangle so you have something to stare at besides a lot of white.

If you absolutely, positively cannot think of anything, have a go-to. It could be "[Topic] is important because." It could be anything. My own was "Once upon a time there was..." (I actually ended up using that as the lede once.)

The point is that once you have words on the screen, you have something to work with. Your brain will be engaged in something other than worry that you haven't started yet.

As my sister, who would have had a far better career as a writer than I if not for illness, put it: "You can work with something. You can't work with nothing."

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suziq's avatar

"It was a dark and stormy night"

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Meccalopolis's avatar

I always get something I can use when I force write.

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EyeQueue's avatar

This was super helpful advice when I was stuck several times while working on my dissertation.

Just get rid of that blank page. Write whatever. The brain engages at a certain point and takes over (at least for me, it does).

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SkeptiKC's avatar

Just putting words on paper, virtually ANY words, will prime the proverbial pump and prompt the desired prose.

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JustPixelz's avatar

>>he can go find a Chili’s Too in an airport<<

Remind him to get $78 for the meal. Make that $79 if he fancies himself a big tipper.

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Catstro's avatar

I recently found out that my dad kept everything that I wrote growing up. He and my mom rightfully got rid of any possessions that I left behind when I moved away, so why he kept these I don’t fully understand. If it were my mom, I would assume blackmail, but my dad? I don’t know. Apparently everyone in town thought that I would be a writer when I grew up, but *nobody told me that*. And I certainly never thought that I would. Sure, I was good at writing essays for my classes and scored higher than anyone else in the state on a standardized writing exam (an exam they later did away with because it was worthless), but what, I’m going to write a book? Haha, I don’t think so.

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EyeQueue's avatar

One of my earliest writing attempts is preserved on my Nana's (now deceased) coffee table. I was writing on it and apparently the pressure went right through to the table, so if you get down there and look with a certain light, you can see what I was writing.

I was about 7 or 8. It was a story about some animals (can't see that part) but one of the clear sentences you can see is something about how he was outcast from the other animals and was very lonely.

That was c. 1978 or so. The table is still there (my Trumper MAGAt aunt owns the house now, so I'll probably never be able to get in there and at least take a photo).

My family were always super confident I would be a writer when I grew up, and that was true to an extent (academic writing), but I haven't shared a lot of my creative endeavors with anyone for fear of judgment (aside from what I have shared with you fine folks on my Substack).

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Bitter Scribe's avatar

You truly don't understand why they kept your writing? Not to get personal, but do you have children?

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Catstro's avatar

I do, and I have an entire gallery wall of my daughter’s artwork. My parents never so much as put my artwork on the fridge, and my dad never praised my writing in the moment. He drove home the idea that no matter how good I was at something, I shouldn’t get too big for my britches because someone would *always* be better than I was. This is a man who laughs about how I got a fancy, useless degree and never worked a day in my field (UNTRUE, I worked in my field for 4 years before I decided to switch careers, but he won’t hear it), so why would I ever expect him to keep something like this?

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Bitter Scribe's avatar

There are a surprising number of parents in the Boomer and pre-Boomer generations who think it's inappropriate to praise their children. It'll spoil them or give them big heads or something. Often I think that stereotypical overprotective parents who think self-esteem is the biggest virtue constitute a backlash to that attitude.

Sounds like your dad was an extreme case. I'm so sorry. I bet he was proud of you all along but just couldn't bring himself to express it.

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Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

My mother, born in 1926, went far beyond just not praising anything I did and told me I'd never amount to anything. That, along with all the rest of it, is what made me decide to not be a parent.

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John Thorstensen's avatar

Trump flew into Lebanon (NH) airport today for an appearnce in Claremont, NH. The local FB page commenters are mostly anti-Trump, some rather vociferously so.

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Nov 11, 2023
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John Thorstensen's avatar

Well, he is a carbon-based life form, I'll give you that.

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Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

That's nothing for carbon based life to crow about.

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EyeQueue's avatar

"Write hard and clear about the things that hurt."

--Earnest Hemingway

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JustPixelz's avatar

I was advised: There are just three rules to great writing ... but nobody knows what they are.

Three things work for me. And I am an unpublished, unpaid word arranger person.

1) Read it out loud

2) For fiction, write the end first.

3) Be sure every word has earned its place.

4) Double-check that the number of bullet points agrees with what you promised at the beginning

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