As we get so close to the big day, you know it is getting time to go big or go home, which is why we've been waiting to ask you for this Ultimate Diamond Experience. Sure, the name makes it sound like one of those car wash packages where they will steam clean your engine, and while that would be a lovely gift for a peasant, we deserve this $1.8 million diamond tourist trip.
The only thing I know about diamonds is every time one of those strip mall cheapo diamond stores runs a Christmas ad, a certain S.O. looks at me and says "No".
Whoever buys this will also be forced to read Alan Payton&#039;s <i>Cry, the Beloved Country</i> and then tour Soweto to show off their sparkly rock.
I hear you can get your rocks off cheaper at Jared&#039;s.
I love the shiny but FFS.
ISWYDT*
*T = Typographically.
This is making me think of the Dwarf Bread Experience.
I can&#039;t give you the diamond, but what about a glitter gun instead?
It may just be me, but it seems like Black Friday has gotten to be so commercialized.
The only thing I know about diamonds is every time one of those strip mall cheapo diamond stores runs a Christmas ad, a certain S.O. looks at me and says &quot;No&quot;.
Will the boat ride include a tour of the Somalia coast?
One billion years sounds like a little too long a wait, personally. What&#039;s the waiting line for roses and chocolate?
Penises?
I&#039;m going to name my diamond &quot;Fluffy&quot;.
Got any peyote?
Whoever buys this will also be forced to read Alan Payton&#039;s <i>Cry, the Beloved Country</i> and then tour Soweto to show off their sparkly rock.