321 Comments
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Wee Mousie's avatar

And bloated incomprehension.

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Vagenda and Pee-ara's avatar

I don't care what anyone thinks! My love for John Deere is real, and it is glorious.

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doktorzoom's avatar

Keep your homowerotic fantasies off my lawn.

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JAWs's avatar

What he means is that he likes to "hit it and quit it."

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default's avatar

The wedding is off, Steve King was caught cheating with the lawn boy.

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L. Ron Pony  🇺🇦's avatar

Pfft. Ten horsepower? That's not even a nooner.

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lesterthegiantape's avatar

Well whack my weeds!

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𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

Man seems proud of his hardware.

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𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

Evidently, "pump action" doesn't mean what I thought it did.

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𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

He's sure trying to get out of the house.

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HavaBrain's avatar

I happen to know his 'lawnmower' is a drop-dead gorgeous Swedish boy with very green knees...

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𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

And did you see the way she was greased?!

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𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

"world famous in Germany"

oy.

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Commentista's avatar

Well, it's always been traditional for upstanding Christian Iowans to 'marry' their prize sows. Which is one reason I fled that Monsanto cornfield rathole of ignorance the moment I was a legal adult.

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Trump Ate Our Votes's avatar

Ha! He also vacuums twice a day. OCD can be a blessing. ;-)

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Jukesgrrl's avatar

What does Sen. Grandpa Cornpants think about this? He used to make regular appearances here on the Wonket with his ungrammatical tweeting, etc. But he hasn't been heard from lately. What would he gay marry? Enquiring minds want to know.

Wait, wait, I know: a big fat farm subsidy.

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