I go to Philly a lot. I like it! I find it to be a great place to witness life’s grand pageant unfold. It’s also a good place to get yelled at by a stranger who may hate you and/or be in love with you and/or simply wish to helpfully tell you that your shoelaces are untied or that the street you’re turning onto has bad potholes and you should try the next street instead!
Now before I begin, alla youse sit down and listen up: this is not a comprehensive guide to Philadelphia. I’m from New Jersey, the greatest region in the entire world, so I was not born and/or raised in Philly. I will not pretend to be an expert. But I am a fan of Philly and her wacky ways.
I am sure somebody will read this and think, “I can’t believe anybody did a starter guide to Philly without mentioning XYZ place I used to frequent when I was young! Why is this not a list of things I personally love about Philadelphia? WHY IS THIS POST NOT ABOUT THE RESTAURANT WHERE I GOT MY FIRST PUBLIC FINGERBLASTING UNDER A RED AND WHITE CHECKED TABLECLOTH AS ‘That’s Amore’ PLAYED ON THE JUKEBOX AND THEN ME AND MY BOYFRIEND WENT TO SEE THE ROOTS LIVE AT THE TROCADERO?!”
Anyway, enjoy this basic guide to random shit I like in Our Nation’s Onetime Temporary Capital. I skipped all the stuff about Ben Franklin and how you should walk through the GIANT HEART at the Franklin Institute and also enjoy a pretzel, but you can do that, too.
The food - You may not think of Philly as a food destination, but fuuuuuuuck. Here’s a list of the 50 Best Restaurants in Philadelphia. I’ve eaten at a few, and they certainly deserve to be on that list. I’m not gonna tell you which, because I want you to explore when you’re there. Okay fine, for great vibes, service, and a relaxed atmosphere plus a great separate vegan menu, I do dig Chatayee Thai, which isn’t on the list linked earlier but which did get a shout out in the Michelin Guide at some point, in case that matters to you. Also, just follow your nose to a place that smells good and see what weird tasty goodness unfolds.
The music - Philly has given the world so many blessings in the form of popular music. In no particular order: the great diva and Civil Rights icon Marian Anderson, The Roots, Jill Scott, Patti Labelle, Eve, Boyz II Men, Teddy Pendergrass, Hall & Oates, Eleanora Fagan aka BILLIE FUCKING HOLIDAY, Amos Lee, Musiq Soulchild, Jim Croce, Chubby Checker, and yes, your favorite artist whom I didn’t name here because this isn’t a comprehensive list (The Dead Milkmen are beloved by your and your little friends, fine, but Ween and Pink are from Bucks County, Christina Aguilera literally emerged fully formed from King of Prussia Mall and Taylor Swift was born when a Christmas tree farm married The Franklin Mint, so calm down!)
If you ever visit, you should go try and see some not-famous musicians while you’re there. You also may hear live beautiful music on the street when you’re just wandering around.
Yes, the history - I love this guide to eight incredible places to visit to learn more about Black history in Philly. The Underground Railroad was inextricably connected to Philadelphia - here’s just one example of a home that played a key role in the anti-slavery movement. The area was originally home to the Lenape peoples, and this article from the University of Pennsylvania is a great place to start to learn more. If you want to take a deeper dive into how popular history tourism industry in Philly has whitewashed and erased the history of indigenous peoples, this piece from Hidden City Philadelphia will take you along during one man’s investigation. And yes, of course you can go see such fascinating sites as the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, and all the rest of it. But you knew that already.
The art - The galleries, the weird installations in random spots, the stuff that just appears on the sides of walls when you turn a corner and maybe it disappears when you aren’t looking - Philly has magic art. Here are Philadelphia Magazine’s favorites, but if you keep your eyes open you may see random little signs or posters that advertise places that may be teeny tiny yet pleasantly blow your mind all over your face. The whole city feels like a living, breathing art fair.
Gritty - The humans of Philadelphia are wild, man. They are really their own species of weird. It’s hard to pin down. All I can say is that Gritty, their National Hockey League team mascot (perhaps thou hast heard of the Flyers?) sort of sums up for me what I dig about these benevolent chaos demon people. They come from various backgrounds and walks of life but they seem proud to be over-the-top, odd, and often disturbingly attractive. Anyway, “Gritty” is probably a popular PornHub search and I hope there’s a Gritty Wikifeet page too.
The way they truly do not care if you like their city - They really fucking don’t. In certain other places, SOME people always seem sort of desperately angry that many outsiders do not prefer their town. Philly people simply do not care. Sure, some of them seem to genuinely enjoy getting roasted just so they can tell others to fuck off, but mostly? THEY SEEM TO CARE NOT AT ALL. This is beautiful to me.
The Wawa across from Independence Hall - It’s a really fucking nice Wawa.
And there you have it - my non-comprehensive list of reasons of why Philadelphia is great. We have a word limit, people! Please add your favorite Philadelphia things in the comments, like the best bookstores and wudder ice and this one zeppoli joint and this particular soul food place and then the record shop where you met the ghost of BENJAMIN FUCKING FRANKLIN smoking a decriminalized joint.
No love for the Mutter museum? Really?
No love for the Mutter museum? Really?