wanna see ted cruz's O face? Welcome to your headquarters for comprehensive coverage of Ted Cruz Thinking About Jacking It. We're planning on starting a new vertical that is nothing but stories of Ted Cruz thinking about his penis, your penis, fake penises, and love gloves. Thank us later.
And just to be clear for any pegging afficionados, I do not judge. This is just one of my go-tos for the conservative stereotype like Mr. Cruz here. Because, with this level of sin hole shaming, there are two main possibilities. One, he's just that repressed which makes the idea of Heidi plowing him rather funny. Or, he's secretly into some kink and this is an actual possibility. Also funny.
So, I'm going to extrapolate from MasturbaTed's legal logic that Josh Duggar must have owned, or at least touched, many, many, many dildos which are apparently to blame for Mr. Duggar's attraction to his sisters.
Ted could win some votes if he addressed the dildogate question head on (so to speak) and said "Look, it's true. I've stood in opposition to dildos throughout my entire political career... which is one of the reasons I am running against Donald Trump" (Dildo-shaped mic drop)
Farther down in that same story, if your brain hasn't completely seized up and/or squeezed itself out your nostril and made a run for it:
"Caroline — who turned 8 on Thursday — said she has a video of her dad in a pink feather boa and granny panties. The Texas dad put on the goofy getup as part of a dress up game at a father-daughter picnic, she said."
The same group I referred to as "some" also never learns that the rest of us are on to them.
Well of course not!
And just to be clear for any pegging afficionados, I do not judge. This is just one of my go-tos for the conservative stereotype like Mr. Cruz here. Because, with this level of sin hole shaming, there are two main possibilities. One, he's just that repressed which makes the idea of Heidi plowing him rather funny. Or, he's secretly into some kink and this is an actual possibility. Also funny.
So, I'm going to extrapolate from MasturbaTed's legal logic that Josh Duggar must have owned, or at least touched, many, many, many dildos which are apparently to blame for Mr. Duggar's attraction to his sisters.
Ted could win some votes if he addressed the dildogate question head on (so to speak) and said "Look, it's true. I've stood in opposition to dildos throughout my entire political career... which is one of the reasons I am running against Donald Trump" (Dildo-shaped mic drop)
Small Government! About the size of, what, a couple D-cells, stacked on each other?
Farther down in that same story, if your brain hasn't completely seized up and/or squeezed itself out your nostril and made a run for it:
"Caroline — who turned 8 on Thursday — said she has a video of her dad in a pink feather boa and granny panties. The Texas dad put on the goofy getup as part of a dress up game at a father-daughter picnic, she said."
wanna see ted cruz’s O face?
No.
I just had to spend 5 minutes cleaning tea off of my monitor. I hope you are happy now.
I need my brain steam-cleaned now.
Sex for woman without man = bad to the short bus conservatives.
Good guy with KY!
I want to know how often Ted has to shave his palms because you just know Heidi won't do it with him anymore.
The über-Catholics are against any reproductive technology whatsoever, surely?
i doubt the frog would help him find a way out, though.
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Isn't it more like a hnnnnnngggggggggh face anyway?