18 Comments

They were from the suburbs, obvs.

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Phil Dunphy's older brother looks like he's had a rough life. Since this media expert gig is kaput, perhaps he too should try residential real estate sales.

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Anyone else think this guy kind of looks like the poor man's Hugh Jackman?

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How dare you liptarts denounce this hero. He was chasin "blahs", obvs. BLAH PEOPLE DID THIS

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They are barking mad.

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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/wat..." target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sm90znj1xz8">https://www.youtube.com/wat...

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No commandment is sacred when they're pathologically terrified.

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It would be irresponsible not to be pre-emptive.

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The main difference between a Sea Story and a Fairy Tale is: Fairy Tales begin with, "Once Upon a Time..." Sea Stories begin with, "This ain't no shit!"

Got that right from a Marine website.

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They're generally used on a lower class of werewolf.

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I might know the answer to this mystery. Is he friends with Dick Cheney, by any chance?

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The point is that he was a hero before this incident, not for trying to chase down imaginary thugs, but for agreeing to obey orders and not think too much about killing real brown people.

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Sean Hannity's always blowing a seal.

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Let me guess- they carved a backwards B in his abdomen.

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Well, ok, his story may not be entirely true, but nobody can deny that black thugs do these kinds of things all the time!

--Gateway Punderp

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Ah, he gets due process rights.

A black teenager? Go Judge Dredd on 'em!

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