Hey Hillary Clinton Could You Pick Sarah Palin For Veep? That'd Be Great, Thanks
Here is a horrifying thing from the Twitters -- you will excuse us, I am sure, from having to actually go and find and watch the video, because you love us and we don't want to -- about how Mark Halperin (above, imitating a "hooman"Â smiling at an Official Wonkette Baby)Â thinks that Hillary Clinton will pick a female lady of the Republican variety to be her vice president!
CLINTON/PALIN 2016 YOU GUYS, IT IS HAPPENING!!!!!!1!
Of course, Hillary Clinton famously hates Republicans, because of how they suck, so badly that she literally can't keep herself from calling Republicans "the enemy," on television, when voters are watching. (This was bad, and though it may be true -- it is true -- we would rightfully flip the fuck out if a Republican candidate called the half of America that is us "the enemy" and you know it, don't even try to fight me.)
[wonkbar title="Leading GOP Female Lights"]          [/wonkbar]Are there Republican women who are not crazy? We guess. There is that Maine lady, the one who was Queen of the Universe for five minutes when she miiiight have voted for Obamacare. Nikki Haley is an asshole, but had a moment or two of not actively kicking black people and wasn't stupid enough to try to tell women born with dicks they have to go in men's bathrooms because that'd be fucking dangerous. The chick from Alaska (not her) who lost her mind when the rest of her caucus blocked the Violence Against Women Act and is super queer for the queers.  Drunky McAbuseOfPower from New Mexico. Jan Brewer, who took her meds once and would at least be hilarious. The list goes on and on until this period right here.
Would Hillary Clinton pick any of these women, to prove that she doesn't hate all Republicans? It is possible, I guess, that after months of liberals complaining she is just a Republican in Mao's clothing, she would completely shit on those she has been trying to woo by proving she is really a Republican after all and hahahahahaha it is actually completely possible Mark Penn or Dick Morris has her ready to do something mindblowingly dumb, and insulting, and honestly just go fuck yourself.
Let us put this idea where it belongs.
Thank you, baby.
Dear Mark Halperin,
I know that you are bucking for the title of Stupidest, Most Wrong-Headed Pundit Ever but you are doomed to failure. Bill Kristol will always beat you at this game. Always.
Bill Kristol is the gold standard, the platinum standard and the Californium 252 standard of stupid, wrong-headed punditry. If you suggest that Hillary will pick a GOP woman as her running mate, just wait until Kristol chucks up his latest prediction.
I'm guessing that he will either predict that Hillz will choose Charles Manson or a transvaginal probe as her running mate. And he won't be joking, he will really believe it. He will be astonished and at the same time instantly forgetful, that he ever said it and will move on to other, even more bizarrely off-target predictions.
Look, Mark, I know you are respectably dumb and delusional but if even so skilled a practitioner as Contessa Noonan de Noodleton can't outshine Bill Kristol, what chance to you have?
I submit, none, no chance whatsoever.
Let's face it, you will always be a middle-level nincompoop who will be instantly forgotten. Sorry about that.
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was......