18 Comments

Here's how it works, Bill:

See, you take a planet, and a comet that's pretty much caught in the planet's gravitational field, ok? I mean, it can't get away.

Then the planet starts making unwanted sexual advances, late night dirty phone calls, and somehow dildoes are involved. Pretty soon, BAM, this massive settlement / scandal forever orbits the gross old planet, forever.

Dat's who put the moon dere, your old lecherous self. Clear?

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Nah, it`s more like how when you feed a stray cat, it will hang out in the yard forever.

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Of course, the correct answer: Jesus!

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Yeah, well, who made me ignorant of facts, then? HUH?? GOD, THAT'S WHO!

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And then there's the Tides.

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You <i>teach</i> at "O'Reilly College of Journalisming"? GO PEABODIES!

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And Fox News 24x7.

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Do you know that the moon sometimes appears in the daytime? It's true! Science has no explanation for this amazing phenomenon.

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Geez. It's like listening to a self-important 8 year old lecturing a NASA scientist on how to identify Jupiter.

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I love it when you talk dirty.

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Bill is debating a camera and he lost. What a fucking chicken shit gravy sucking coward.

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Shorter version: Rarities are commonplace.

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Moon goes up, moon stays up.

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I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night.

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To which Bill would reply "How do you know? Were you there?"

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