Hey Missoula, Detroit, Northern Michigan, And Somewhere In The Berkshires, You Wanna Come To A Wonkette Party?
Shut up yes you do.
First the bad news, which you will weep and freak out about: I am having a little bit of cancer! But the butt surgeon (BUTT CANCER!?!) says he got it all, so let’s assume it’s all fine and not weep and freak out about it until the end of the month when we see him again. But also now the mammographers called and need to see me again some more for an extra special extra long date with my torso, so let’s be very nice to me, I could use it.
In the meantime, let’s have some parties!
Northern Michigan — let’s say Mackinaw City! — we are having a HARD-EARNED and WELL-DESERVED vacation in you next week. So why don’t we have a party? UPDATE CHANGE OF VENUE FOR RAIN! Instead of the park, we will see you at MACKINAC ISLAND BREWHOUSE, 312 S. Huron, Mackinaw City, Michigan! Fri., Aug. 11, 6-9 p.m.!
Missoula, Montana, we are going to you too. Sat., Aug. 19, let’s call it 5 to 8 p.m., for drinks at the Union Club Missoula! See you there unless we see you first!
Paul and Holly are doing their usual Labor Day weekend campout, Sept. 1-4. See Wonkmeet for details! (We will not be at that one, but we hope to someday!)
And if you’re in Detroit or driving distance, please join us at our Detroit manse on Labor Day, 2 to 6 p.m. Bring a bathing suit, and email me at rebecca at wonkette dot com for our address. We will grill and go in the very tiny above ground pool. Bring the kids!
Now tell me nice things about me in your OPEN THREAD!
My partner had butt cancer. Left a nice scar when they excised the lump, but it was just skin and non-metastasizing and they got it all and everything was easy except this 2-inch scar which it was my pleasure to kiss until it was all better and then maybe even after for a decade or so. I hope your butt cancer is just the same and that Shy Pixel is on the kiss-it-make-it-better detail, because (and this is where I say nice things about you) you have the most loyal and passionate and delightful reader base, you really do! You are obviously an inspiration. And this is where I qualify it: despite all that about your readership, I think that the Shy option is better since asking a bunch of your dedicated readers to kiss your butt scar in the middle of Wawatam Park might just scare the locals.
JUST SAYING!
Okay, back to saying nice things about Rebecca, like she raises the best face-painted zombies and shit like that. So SAY IT, PEOPLE.
I’ve never gotten to see Becca’s butt in person, but I imagine it’s glorious. No wonder cancer wanted in on that. Fuck cancer; the butt, she is mine! Back off! I’ll cut a bitch.
Get better soon, you sublime goddess and best boss ever!