Hi! Whatcha doing? Are you counting all your extra money? That’s great! Can we have some?
Rebecca, you are saying to yourself, it’s been ever so long since you’ve had a proper moneybeg! Are you okay? IS WONKETTE DYING?
No, we are not dying! Wonkette, like the Chris Pine sex puppet from Team America: World Police, will never die.
BUT! We have had a few sundry legalish things come up, and it’s been ever so long since we had one of those days where 200 of you subscribed at once, so after this payroll, well, let’s just say “after this payroll y’all will send us more payroll.” God and the Wonkers always provide.
Our policy of we will never have a paywall or rope off “better” content for paying subscribers means a lot of folks are happy to read us for free. Which is great! We would all certainly rather people read Wonkette for free and go armed (WITH KNOWLEDGE) into the world than that they be stuck drinking from Joe Rogan’s fount of wisdom or some shit. If you can’t afford to give us money, but you are learning from us, even if it is just new ways to swear, I count that as a marvelous win.
But if you’re holding, hey, how about some money.
This has been let’s all send money to Rebecca and also subscribe. Thank you, we love you!
I note that Rebecca paid me today and I'm HELLA EXPENSIVE, so help put food on her family, eh?
I just want to take a moment to thank all you filthy fuckaducks for supporting Wonkette over the years. After I'd been freelancing for a couple years, you came through when Rebecca said she wanted to buy my full time loyalty back in 2014, and I have been a faithful lickspittle ever since. We've been through so much together! Thanks for helping me become a middle class weirdo!
And yes, I darn well do remember who it was who made it possible for me to finally lease a new EV. I would be fibbing if I said I think of it every time I go humming along, but it certainly does cross my mind quite often. Thank you. I am especially grateful that I'm in a position to propagandize you all with climate and clean energy TRVTH.
Oh, say, did I mention my EV? I love it like I love you (You pay my rent).
https://www.wonkette.com/p/i-finally-got-an-electric-car-so