Hillary Clinton's New Super-Fiction Book Features Former Idiot President Called 'Eric The Dumb'

Write what you know.

We haven't had occasion to write about Hillary Clinton lately, but she was trending on Twitter this morning, and here's why: It seems Secretary Clinton has co-written a thrilling page-turner with author Louise Penny called State of Terror. (Wonkette cut link!) Is it about emails or Benghazi or Clinton death count or maybe none of those things? Don't know, haven't read it.

The New York Times notes in its review that former President Bill Clinton has been doing similar co-writing things with novelist James Patterson, then offers this little side-by-side comparison of their newest book vs. her book with Penny:

Which of the Clintons' novels you prefer will depend, as always, on personal taste. "The President's Daughter" is all testosterone and swagger, full of gritty operatives eager to rush into impossible situations using only their wits and their massive weapons. "State of Terror" addresses similar subjects — terrorism, treachery, blackmail, government malfeasance. But while Bill's characters speak loudly and wave their big sticks (they are men), Hillary's listen intently and use their keen understanding of human nature to outmaneuver their adversaries (they are women).

Oh good Lord. That paragraph is literally "he wrote a boy book and she wrote a girl book." Thanks, New York Times , as always.

Here is what the book is really about:

The plot in "State of Terror" is ambitious and apocalyptic. Nothing less than the future of the world is at stake. As the novel begins, Ellen Adams, the former proprietor of an international media empire, has been improbably appointed U.S. secretary of state by Douglas Williams, the condescending president whose candidacy she had opposed. Exhausted and disheveled after flying back overnight from a disastrous trip to South Korea, she arrives late for Williams's State of the Union address.

"What in God's name are you wearing?" snarks the secretary of defense, as Ellen rushes into the House chamber. "Have you been mud wrestling again?"

BUT THEN.

Things are about to get much worse. A bomb goes off in London, another in Paris, a third in Frankfurt. They are linked, but how?

FIGURE IT OUT, CARRIE MATHISON ON "HOMELAND."

WAIT, SHE ISN'T IN THIS.

Blame falls on Bashir Shah, an evil Pakistani arms dealer "intent on creating a hell on earth." Shah was secretly freed from prison with the blessing of the previous U.S. president. He hates Ellen, whose media company once laid bare his crimes in a devastating documentary; he may have even killed her husband using untraceable poison.

HE SOUNDS LIKE A REAL STINKER.

And on and on and on. Sounds like it might be a fun read, if you're into reading things like are described above.

The Times says the book also features "Maxim Ivanov," the Russian president who is sexist AF, and who also "ran rings around" the immediate previous American president, some Trumpy one-termer fuckwit everybody called "Eric the Dumb," which is a pretty clever way of insulting two members of that family at the same time.

To wit:

Clinton and Penny reserve their darkest shade for former President Eric Dunn, a preening, bombastic one-termer who shredded the country's reputation and retreated to Florida to sulk, play golf and plot his return. Sure, Dunn is charismatic, with an uncanny ability to exploit people's weaknesses, but he is also an idiot. Even his closest associates called him "Eric the Dumb."

If Hillary Clinton wants to write a political thriller featuring a very stupid former president who's led around on a leash by the Russians, we are not here to cast aspersions on that.

Apparently the character literally lives in Palm Beach, and Clinton discussed that with Seth Meyers last night on his show. "Well, lotta people live in Palm Beach," said Clinton, about the place where Eric the Dumb, her completely fictional character, lives.

And with that, you may watch the video of Hillary Clinton and Louise Penny on Seth Meyers, because we don't have any other things to type.

 www.youtube.com 

[ New York Times ]

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