History's Easiest "Ordeal" Finally Over

Fans of Priscilla Owen, breathe easy. Her "four-year ordeal" of earning $113,000 annually as a Texas Supreme Court justice has mercifully come to an end. Today, Senators voted 56-43 to appoint her to the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals. Released from the dark, tiny cell in which she had been kept along with Texas's other Supreme Court justices, Owen immediately went out and enjoyed her first bug-free meal in years. Verdict? A definite victory for humanity.— GREG BEATO

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