289 Comments

Yeah! It's probably gonna take a hell of lot more blessings to make Bentley's junk appealing.

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Just whose parts are getting blessed in this picture?

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He didn't even go hiking the Appalachian Trail!

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Breaking news: Bentley to resign in exchange for starring in next season's 'The Bachelor'

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Somewhere a Republican weeps tears of bitter regret, for what could have been, if only.

And beating his meat.

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"He's SO SEXY" - Mike Pence

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Or himself..'cause he has secret man-desires...shhhhh!

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My brain definitely typed "love makes people do stupid things" but my fingers didn't. Fixed, thanks!

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Believe me, that's barely a requirement, as I prove daily.

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See there's a simple explanation, they're all just slightly dyslexic. They're "keeping marriage scared" you see...

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Pretty squinchy texts, for sure. Still, what you will never get to un-hear starting at 2:25 from John Oliver's show will make those texts seem like the script for the next Disney princess movie. You're welcome. P.S. haha, enjoy your "retirement", you disgusting old shithead. https://www.youtube.com/wat...

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Did Bentley hike with Sanford? 1-666-SEXY GOV only $5.99 per minute.

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So he resigned? Where's the update?

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Damn, that was so funny!

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Eeeeewwww! Boring and loathsome!

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