Hunter Biden Indicted For Tax Stuff, And Boy Are Republicans Mad

It's almost like they don't give a shit about the facts at all!

They got him! They finally indicted Hunter Biden for not paying all his taxes in 2016 when he was high out of his mind. Rest easy, Americans, our nation’s long nightmare is finally over.

Last night Special Counsel David Weiss issued a second indictment of President Joe Biden’s son for tax evasion. He alleges that Hunter improperly deducted hundreds of thousands of dollars of personal spending as business expenses and failed to file his returns on time.

The indictment is deliberately salacious, replete with references to “payments to escorts and dancers” and “adult entertainment.”

“Between 2016 and October 15, 2020, the Defendant spent this money on drugs, escorts and girlfriends, luxury hotels and rental properties, exotic cars, clothing, and other items of a personal nature, in short, everything but his taxes,” it reports breathlessly.

Prosecutors even included a helpful table summarizing “the approximate expenditures that the Defendant made instead of paying his taxes,” including lines for “Payments - Various Women” and “Rehab (Drug & Alcohol)” alongside “Childcare” and “Tuition.”

In short, Weiss and his deputy Leo Wise have made every effort to embarrass the president’s son by including lurid but irrelevant details designed to delight Republicans. It also repeats the word “Owasco” over and over like a magical incantation, along with “CEFC China Energy Co Ltd.” and of course “Burisma.” To MAGA faithful steeped in the lore, those words evoke images of a massive influence peddling operation involving “the Biden Crime Family.”

And yet, Jamie Comer ain’t happy! The president’s son is facing potential jail time, despite having paid the money back with interest and penalties, and that hayseed nitwit somehow in charge of the House Oversight Committee is still bitching.

“Hunter Biden’s corporate entities implicated by today’s indictments funneled foreign cash that landed in Joe Biden’s bank account,” he fumed. “Unless U.S. Attorney Weiss investigates everyone involved in the Bidens’ fraud schemes and influence peddling, it will be clear President Biden’s DOJ is protecting Hunter Biden and the big guy.”

Why isn’t Hunter Biden indicted for paying his dad back $5,000 in truck payments? INPEACH!!!!1!!!

The case has been assigned to Judge Mark Scarsi, a Trump appointee. But there are Trump judges, and there are Trump judges, and Scarsi is among the former lot, gaining Senate confirmation in 2020 on an 83-12 vote.

According to NBC, Judge Scarsi has a record of coming down hard on tax cheats. And in principle, your Wonkette agrees. Seriously, we all need to pay our damn taxes. And while we’re on the subject of shit that is bad for democracy, the type of legal access peddling Hunter Biden engaged in is grody. But let’s not pretend for one second that a guy not named Hunter Biden who’d already paid the arrearage would be facing indictment in similar circumstances, not to mention charged with omitting his drug habit from a handgun permit application, as he is in Delaware.

“First, US Attorney Weiss bowed to Republican pressure to file unprecedented and unconstitutional gun charges to renege on a non-prosecution resolution,” his lawyer Abbe Lowell said. “Now, after five years of investigating with no new evidence — and two years after Hunter paid his taxes in full — the US Attorney has piled on nine new charges when he had agreed just months ago to resolve this matter with a pair of misdemeanors.”

Biden himself addressed the issues on a podcast with the musician Moby, whom he became close friends with when the pair met in rehab.

“They decided that the one way in which they would be able to certainly just undermine my dad’s confidence and ability to continue to campaign and move forward — particularly after the death of my brother — [was] to think that he could lose his son that he just had regained from an almost-death, through addiction,” Biden said, describing the horrific public abuse and doxxing he and his family have suffered thanks to Republican lies.

“There is no doubt in my mind — and this might sound like some crazy hyperbole — is that they’re trying to kill me through other means. And I just won’t let ’em,” he added.

Counterpoint: Jesus said “Hate the sin, love the sinner by showing his naked photos on the House floor.” He did! It was Two Corinthians.

Or maybe that’s horseshit, and Republican politicians are filth. Yeah, probably that one.

[US v. Biden, Docket via Court Listener / Guardian]

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