Hunter Biden Indicted, Putting End To America's Long National Hunter Biden Crime Spree Nightmare
Security tight as courthouse braces for riots by angry Biden supporters.
Hunter Biden was indicted today on federal firearms charges, bringing to an end the years-long manhunt for President Joe Biden’s fugitive son, following a tense armed standoff in the Norwegian Woods, and … oh, hold on, he’s been right out in the open all this time, and the charges were brought by special counsel David Weiss in a federal court in Delaware. No manhunt, no standoff, though that would have been far more interesting.
In any case, Hunter Biden has been charged with three counts related to lying about his drug use when he bought a gun in 2018, as NBC News explains:
Two counts are tied to Biden allegedly completing a form indicating he was not using illegal drugs when he purchased a Colt Cobra revolver in October 2018. The third count alleges that he possessed a firearm while using a narcotic. The indictment says Biden certified on a federally mandated form "that he was not an unlawful user of, and addicted to, any stimulant, narcotic drug, and any other controlled substance, when in fact, as he knew, that statement was false and fictitious.”
Two of the charges have maximum penalties of 10 years in prison, and the third is max five years. Biden could also face fines of up to $750,000. A previous plea deal in the case went all kerflooey in July; that one would have given Biden probation in return for a guilty plea on tax charges, but at the hearing where it was supposed to be finalized, the Trump-appointed judge said nah, and Weiss, the Trump-appointed prosecutor who’s been on the case from the start, was elevated in August to special counsel, so here we are again with new and different charges. Yes, that’s a very hasty summary.
CNN reports that Hunter Biden is in California, and the details of how he’ll turn himself in to be arraigned are still pending.
And here’s a fun fact: The gun possession law under which Biden was charged is being challenged in federal court; the crazies at the Fifth Circuit found it was unconstitutional, but their ruling only applies to Louisiana, Texas, and Mississippi, so unless and until that case goes to a higher court, Hunter is still SOL. Sure would be sad for Republicans if their crusade against gun laws meant Hunter Biden got off on one of his charges.
The Associated Press points out that the charges being brought against Biden are seldom pursued on their own, and are instead usually connected to other crimes in the time-honored tradition of bringing lots of charges so a defendant can have some dropped in a plea deal, not that we are cynical.
As of yet, President Biden has not resigned. but people with blue checkmarks on Xitter remain hopeful that this is the first step in either bringing down the entire Biden crime syndicate, or maybe a race war, you never know.
OPEN THREAD.
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Good Times news - Saturday really is Caturday this week! Smaug is coming home with us on Saturday afternoon. Expect lots of pictures of our tiny ginger and white fluffy dragon-kitten to be posted in Chat.
I just updated my resume for the company that's trying to put me on Boards of Directors and I'd kinda forgotten how much I'd done in my last job.
I'm sort of impressive. Which goes some way to mitigating the horrendous existential dread I've been feeling since I got fired.
It also helps that a couple of places have already asked me to teach, including Stanford.
So. So I'm feeling upbeat, my friends. It's a nice feeling.
You, as always, help keep me sane.