Discover more from Wonkette
HUNTERS LAPTOP Committee Still Wanking Wanking Wanking Towards Freedom!
Republicans Bad At Shit, part eleventy million.
When Democrats held the House and formed a committee to investigate Donald Trump's attempt to coup himself back into power, Republicans tried to discredit the committee by refusing to participate. It seems only fair that Democrats should do the same, abandoning the field so Republicans can roll around in a filthy orgy of Hunter Biden dick pics and unverifiable emails while shouting TONY BOBULINSKI and LOCK HER UP, right?
Well, perhaps not, because Democrats are not A GODDAMN IDIOT, so they played their minority hand significantly better.
In 2021, Speaker Nancy Pelosi refused to seat Reps. Jim Jordan and Jim Banks on the House January 6 Select Committee, on account of inviting suspects to investigate themselves is bad practice. Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy flounced off and refused to play ball — which of course left the field open for Democrats to invite Reps. Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger to form a bipartisan panel dedicated to exposing Trump's perfidy without rebuttal.
Let no one accuse Our Kev of being a master tactician! (Don't worry, no one has ever even thought that as a joke.)
With Republicans in control of the House, the shoe is now on the other foot. But instead of stomping off and allowing Republicans to investigate Hunter Biden's dick pics unimpeded, Democrats have come out swinging . Most recently, they're pantsing that hayseed dipshit James Comerwho chairs the Oversight Committee and shut down investigations of Trump's rancid corruption, not to mention Jared Kushner's $2 billion parting gift from the Saudi Sovereign Wealth Fund, so the committee can dedicate itself full time to the mystery of Hunter Biden being a sleazeball with a drug problem who cashed in on his father's name. DC more or less runs on influence peddling, and by the standards of our nation's capital, the younger Biden's grift was small time. It also appears to have been entirely legal. But that ain't stopping the GOP!
Comer spends his days now hopping from news hit to news hit on conservative media arglebargling nonsense about "the Biden crime family." He even managed to wangle a gauzy profile from the New York Times , which painted him as a relatively thoughtful politician, dedicated to his job and responsive to the needs of his constituents — it just so happens that his constituents want to do LOCK HER UPS to President Joe Biden, who hasn't done any crimes. But wiggling his wizened member for Breitbart has produced precious little results, and Fox's Jesse Watters is demanding arrests STAT. So Comer has switched up the mix and relied even more heavily on a tried and true Republican tactic — lying his ass off, and hiding evidence from minority members to try to block them from debunking his lies.
To wit, he's been all over TV claiming that whistleblowers are coming out of the woodwork to spill the beans on Biden corruption.
"We had four different people come in who are affiliated with what I call the Biden influence peddling all across the globe, they came in and they shared information with us that has been very helpful," Comer boasted to Fox News on March 6, a date at which no witnesses at all had "come in."
“We are in communication with four former Biden family business associates," he told Breitbart this week in a piece which repeatedly characterized the "four" witnesses as "whistleblowers."
In fact, according to his own staff, Comer has only interviewed two witnesses to date: Eric Schwerin, president of Hunter Biden’s investment firm, and Kathy Chung, who worked as an executive assistant to Joe Biden when he was vice president. And neither of them is a whistleblower.
"When following up with your staff to ensure Committee Democrats had equal access to this newly announced information, Democratic staff were told that no new witness information, including from whistleblowers, had actually been provided to Committee Republicans and that your statements in fact referred only to two individuals," Rep. Jamie Raskin wrote in a public letter to Comer yesterday, noting that it is a violation of House Rules to hide evidence from the minority members of a committee.
"Your misrepresentations and refusal to disclose relevant information to the Committee call into serious question your investigative techniques, the 'facts' you have uncovered, and the narratives you appear intent on composing," he added.
Meanwhile Comer has been touting all the incriminating porn he's getting off of "Hunter Biden's laptop" without acknowledging that much of what's on the supposed "laptop" can't be authenticated because there is no one "laptop," there are just a collection of files that have been passed around the wingnutosphere. Raskin writes:
Rather than provide the Minority with equal access to this drive, you have directed us to obtain the information from other sources—including from a questionable public website or from John Paul Mac Isaac, the owner of the computer repair shop that allegedly obtained Hunter Biden’s laptop. But Mr. Mac Isaac has called into serious question the integrity of the same hard drive he reportedly unlawfully disseminated, stating that it may have been compromised by its mysterious chain of custody and some information now attributed to it cannot be verified or authenticated.10 You have therefore directed Committee Democrats to unconfirmed sources without validating their contents and have refused to confirm that the drive in the possession of Committee Republicans was provided to the Majority by Mr. Mac Isaac, making it impossible to understand what version of the several purported laptop hard drives in circulation Committee Republicans are relying on to support their various requests and subpoenas.
But Comer is untroubled by this apparent inconsistency, or, indeed, linear time itself.
“We believe the reason the family was receiving this money is because of favors that Joe Biden did as vice president and or as president,” referring to payments received by Hunter Biden from a Chinese energy company in 2017. How could this have been payment for favors President Biden did in 2021 or later?
Listen, that's not important now. The important thing is PEENER PICS, PEENER PICS, PEENER PICS.
Catch Liz Dye on Opening Arguments podcast.
Click the widget to keep your Wonkette ad-free and feisty. And if you're ordering from Amazon, use this link, because reasons .