My fiance never punched me. He never choked me. But he did hold me down on the bed, trying unsuccessfully to rip the diamonds from my ears so I couldn't "fuck anyone else when I was wearing them." He always thought I was fucking everyone, most especially any gay friends who had dropped by for coffee, because clearly being gay was a ruse. I was never fucking anyone. He was though, often leaving a sweet note on the pillow to tell me he'd gone home because he couldn't sleep and didn't want to wake me, and going to another woman's house instead.