24 Comments

Yeah, we totally believe anyone can just walk up to the president* without getting dog-piled by the Secret Service.

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A little girl about 5 approached Bush the elder during intermission at the theater. About 4 Secret Service agents materialized seemingly from thin air. He waved them off quickly, but it was still impressive to see. And that was well after his time in office, just a few years ago. I can't imagine how some rando could just come up to Trump at Mar-a-Lago...

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I need a tell for when he's telling the truth about something.

haha j/k I know he never ever tells the truth

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The house just voted to table the resolution to impeach the shitstain motherfucker

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Another one of Trump’s tells... numbers. Anything numerical gets inflated. Even if it a simple factual relaying of technical info. Bigger is better, always.

Also, if his mouth is moving. Really, that’s his biggest tell.

How seriously sad/funny is it that Jr. is Trump’s biggest fan and personal Flavor Flav, and that this level of worship is exactly the thing Trump craves and needs to exist, and yet he doesn’t care about him. I pity him (Jr.) until he has one of his ‘don’t you know who my daddy is” moments, and they seem to happen all day every day, so I don’t feel badly very long.

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Whenever he says he’d date Ivanka.

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‘Accidental’ lag in response time?

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I wonder if they’d notice you were not Ivanka if you just marched up hiding behind a broom with a blonde wig held out in front. You might have to wear heels so they could hear you coming, and maybe have a recording of a child saying, “But daddy, I really want it!”

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Flavor Flav Libels. I would use all caps, but the truth about Flav isn’t so upstanding that a libelous statement deserves all caps.

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It’s a real possibility.

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But Wikipedia spelled it like a proper name. This is why you can’t cite Wikipedia as a reference.

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Trump has another tell. When he holds his arms extended above waist but below shoulder level in a kind of Touchdown Jesus pose he is getting ready to tell a whopper. Especially if both hands are making the “OK” sign.

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They also just voted to hold Barr and Ross in criminal contempt, tho

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Touchdown Jesus

This is really the swoop of his whole persona, isn't it? That and Sylvester McMonkey McBean.

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I have to expose my ignorance. I don’t know Sylvester McMonkey McBean.

Trump reminds me of J. Fred Muggs. But not Lance Link; Secret Chimp. Or Cheetah.

Lance Link was a secret agent who caught enemy spies. Cheetah was multilingual. Both were smarter than Trump.

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