35 Comments
User's avatar
Fred Wertham, Jr.'s avatar

The plastic jars they put Vaseline in now just don't have the heft of the old glass ones.

Lascauxcaveman's avatar

Seriously, Maine. How bad was the D candidate that made you choose this unlubricated asshole instead?

Nounverb911's avatar

Vasoline? Weren't there any shoes available?

whatwhomever's avatar

Contrary to what Gov. LePetomaine - I mean LePage thinks, petroleum jelly is not a good lube for the sexytimes. It is, however, excellent for throwing at chaffed buttholes.

weejee 🇺🇦's avatar

Pity the poor custodials who had to clean a stage that was covered with mucilage-laden santorum.

Extemporanus's avatar

She don't use Jellies...

weejee 🇺🇦's avatar

It wasn't in Kennebunkport.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©'s avatar

Napalm is a highly flammable tacky jelly...WITH VOTES!~

unhipcat's avatar

oh, sure.you post about the honorable goobernor accidently and unitentionally misspeaking about Stephen King moving from Maine in order to not pay liberal taxes for all those benefits he receives for free, but where's your mention of his very sincere, very public apology for getting that lie all inaccurately wrong?

Spotts1701, Taking Bible Guns's avatar

But if he uses Vaseline, the poors might enjoy it! And we can't be having that, now can we?

deanbooth's avatar

And this guy was elected twice. Maine, the Can Get Fooled Again state.

dslindc's avatar

I would throw so many votes at his head.

Zippy W. Pinhead's avatar

I love the smell of Vaseline in the morning, it smells like...

hmmm, I may have said too much

Villago Delenda Est  🇺🇦's avatar

There was vote splitting going on.

Beowoof14's avatar

Oh I would have thrown some LePage's Glue at to glue his asshole closed, so we wouldn't have to hear anymore of his "ideas".

OneYieldRegular's avatar

[lawyer throws up hands in resignation, resigns]