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Good Monday! In the news today, Republican battles to not be involved in Mitt Romney's campaign at all intensify, "Tricky Dick" had a mortifying nickname for a reason, and the Supreme Court wants you to stop telling them how fat they look in their robes.
All of Mitt's potential running mates are just too cool for him. Come on, you guys, he looks like the type of guy that gets random heart attacks! Surely one of you could take over. [ The Atlantic ]
Give your day an ironic start by reading about the death of the newspaper on a blog. This article explains how the decline of the local paper helped make the GOP more polarizing. [ Salon ]
In an intense, deliberate article, Woodward and Bernstein go over the fact that Nixon was even worse than that Kirsten Dunst movie they made about him. [ Washington Post ]
The Supreme Court's feelings are being hurt by the media! Oh, go run crying to Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. They'll teach you how stop worrying and learn to love gay people already. [ Slate ]
Insert Watergate Headline Here
No - it's a dead bird wearing his underwear.
Jeb Bush won't run for national office because the GNoP doesn't want to reopen the 2000 lorida Presidential election can o' worms.