Inside the Mind of Bumiller

 Standing Room Only's Hugh Elliot provides us with a translation of NYT reporter Elisabeth Bumiller's White House pool report as free-association Architectural Digest article .

BumillerWhat it meansWe're now in a hold in the boathouse/garage/guest house of the home of Jack Donahue, the president's host, where we are looking out at Gordon Pass, which flows from the Gulf of Mexico out into the Gordon River.I have no idea where I am.I have no idea what the main house looks like, but I would be perfectly happy to live with the boats.I've forgotten what my family looks like.

The architecture of the boat /guest house is stone and stucco, with a wooden slate roof; it's new and it looks really expensive.Wooden slate must cost a bundle.Donahue is the chairman and founder of Federated Investors, Inc., a Pittsburgh based investment management firm that at the end of 2003 was managing $198 billion, three-fourths of it in money market funds.Maybe there isn't another house.He has 13 children, 84 grandchildren and 8 great grandchildren.Some of us had to choose a career.I think his house is on the Gulf -- I can't imagine it's not -- but it's hard to tell from my vantage point.I still have no idea where I am.My view is framed by sea grape and palms.I think I'm passed out on the ground.Right now I am looking across Gordon Pass to Keewaydin Island, which is edged by mangrove trees.I've seen all of Lord of The Rings.The water is a lovely blue-green; the Secret Service has spotted a manatee.I must be really trashed.

 WH Pool Report: Live with the Boats Edition [Wonkette]