Is Elizabeth Colbert Busch A Deadbeat 'Bortion-Having Crime-Doer? We Are Just Asking

Oh, South Carolina, you are so very special, the way you keep the Confederate flag handy because the South issooooogonna rise again, y'all, and the way you voted for Newt Gingrich to be your Republican presidential nominee, and the way you justloooooooooooveto believe the most shocking of rumors when some mysterious stranger calls you on the phone and asks hypothetical questions like, say, "Would you be more likely or less likely to vote for John McCain for president if you knew he had fathered an illegitimate black child?” 

But you, South Carolina, are way too so S-M-R-T to fall for those kinds of dirty tricks ever again, like you did in 2000 (the one and only time in history that it was not excellent news for John McCain)?

Like, say, if you were getting mysterious phone calls -- what the professionals call "push polls" -- asking hypothetical (and by hypothetical, we mean utter horseshit) questions about Democrat Elizabeth Colbert Busch right before next Tuesday's special election, you definitely would not fall for that, right?

A mysterious conservative group has been placing highly-misleading phone calls to South Carolina voters, trying to dissuade them from voting for the Democrat in an upcoming congressional special election. [...]

ThinkProgress spoke with multiple individuals in South Carolina’s first congressional district who have received push polls from an unknown conservative group that only referred to itself as “SSI Polling”.

Who is SSI Polling? We don't know. No one knows. Not even Google knows. But all of a sudden, it is calling South Carolinians to ask totally relevant and fair questions, such as:

- “What would you think of Elizabeth Colbert Busch if I told you she had had an abortion?”

- “What would you think of Elizabeth Colbert Busch if I told you a judge held her in contempt of court at her divorce proceedings?

- “What would you think of Elizabeth Colbert Busch if she had done jail time?”

- “What would you think of Elizabeth Colbert Busch if I told you she was caught running up a charge account bill?”

Has Elizabeth Colbert Busch had abortions and done jail time? Who cares? That is not the point. The point is that shemighthave -- like, it's not totally unpossible -- so even if there is no truth to any of it, you, South Carolina voters, should be prepared to assume there is and vote accordingly.

Clearly, this "SSI Polling" outfit is totally legitimate and above board, and we are sure that it will soon be conducting similar polling on what voters think of Mark Sanford. Because we like to be helpful, we will even propose some relevant questions to ask:

- "What would you think of Mark Sanford if he had gone AWOL when he was governor and jetted off to Argentina to bang his mistresson the taxpayers' dime?"

- "What would you think of Mark Sanford if I told you he flew airplanes at his children , and his wife needed a court order to make him not do that?"

- "What would you think of Mark Sanford if I told you he once had to pay 'around $300,000' to the family of a child who DIED on his property?"

- "What would you think of Mark Sanford if he was a deadbeat dad once, who failed to pay $5,000 in child support ?"

- "What would you think if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me?"

Just askin.'

[ Think Progress ]