Is Mike Johnson The Nerd Bigot Religious Extremist Seditionist House Republicans Have Been Waiting For?

Good Lord.

Let’s fuckin’ do this again, hell yes.

Last night, Republicans met behind closed doors, and chose Mike Johnson as their speaker designate. There will allegedly be a vote today, and Politico Playbook thinks he might get it. So does Punchbowl.

Of course, the running joke right now is that if Elise Stefanik congratulates you — for anything — you will surely die. And … oof:

Also, Melanie Zanona from CNN notes that 44 people on the last ballot last night voted for “Not Him” rather than for Mike Johnson. So either Politico Playbook is chipper for unexplained reasons this morning — had a hot one-night stand with Axios last night? — or Playbook is full of shit. But Zanona updated her reporting to say it looks like Johnson has a shot! Trump is into him.

So we’ll see!

Mike Johnson is a rank seditionist — no really, look at that article — and a vile religious bigot with ties to the extremist hate group Alliance Defending Freedom. He was their spokesperson! American Atheists notes that he has been given an award by another extremist religious hate cell, the Family Research Council. He’s a dumbfuck who thinks marijuana is a gateway drug, he’s anti-abortion, and he’s an anti-LGBTQ+ bigot. He’s got a weird hard-on for school prayer.

So if he wins this, that’s what we’re in for. And if he wins this, we will ridicule that fucking nerd daily.

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Here is a video from last night of it being pointed out to Johnson that he was one of the leaders of the rank seditionists who tried to overturn the election. Listen to how the sicko piece of shit Republicans around him reacted.

But here is Johnson in December of 2020, and while he is babbling absolute hallucinatory white fascist bullshit about fraud in the election, he also concedes that there’s “no doubt” that Donald Trump “has to” concede to Joe Biden.

We wish we had told somebody for the record, but DAYS ago, we had a sick feeling about this guy. Guess we’ll find out today if that was about something, or maybe we just ate something weird.

The vote will probably be around 1 p.m.-ish, if it happens.

Either he will fail, or he’ll be elected and he’ll be a laughingstock and a failure. Bank on it.

[videos via Acyn & Patriot Takes]

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Evan Hurst on Twitter right here. 

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