It's Curtains For Wonkette's Top Ten Stories Of The Week (Not Really)

Come read them!

Happy Weekend!

I couldn't find anything new and exciting to give you this week, so I am blessing you all with a classic — the curtain lady from Coventry, RI, who actually sounds like several of my relatives and definitely has the same hair as my 9th grade homeroom teacher.

I love her and hope to someday be as happy about anything as she is about curtains.

Crazy Curtain Lady at Quality Curtain Outlet in Coventry, RI    www.youtube.com 

Sadly, the Quality Curtain Outlet is permanently closed, so you will, unfortunately, have to go someplace else for your curtains.

And here are your top ten stories of the week!

10. Republicans Can't Stop Divorcing Long Enough To Make No Fault Divorce Illegal Again 

9. Surprise! Montana Supreme Court Actually Expanded Abortion Rights 

8. WonkTV: Why CNN’s Trump Infomercial Sponge Bath Wasn’t ‘News’ 

7. Megyn Kelly Challenges Charlize Theron To Fisticuffs Over Drag Queens 

6. Ted Cruz Investigating Bud Light For Felony Nice To Trans Lady 

5. 'Transformer' Robot Has No Gender, Is Robot, And Laura Ingraham Is PISSED! 

4. Who Wants To Hear Ben Shapiro Say 'Beaver Nipples' HEY WAIT COME BACK! 

3. Elon Musk's CNBC Interview Makes Marjorie Taylor Greene Sound Thoughtful 

2. Florida Students Refuse To Let Skeevy MAGA Speaker Ruin Their Graduation Ceremony 

1. Wonkette, The World's Last Website! 

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