It's Wonkette's Presidents' Day Weekend Blowout Mattress Sale!

Everything must go!

An anonymous pup from our friend Garnet!

Happy Weekend!

Sorry, I tricked you! We are not having a blowout mattress sale, or any mattress sale, because we do not sell mattresses here. Although I do think that next time I need a new mattress, I’ll just finally start that Lifetime movies podcast my sister and I have been talking about for years and get a free mattress from one of those mattress companies that sponsors every podcast on earth. Because I’m smart like that.

Alas, while there are no mattresses, I do have a lot of Presidents’ Day-related presents for you all, so it is time to get excited!

First up, we have Urkel trying to convince President Bill Clinton to enact the Urkel Air Act — and getting Bob Dole to sponsor it? This was in 1993, which you may recall was the absolute height of Urkelmania (I even had a talking doll), so it’s not surprising that the president enlisted the Urkman to help teach kids how a bill becomes a law.

Of course, not sure it was all that effective because I have absolutely no memory of it whatsoever, and I must have seen it since what the hell would I have been doing on Friday nights in 1993 other than watching TGIF? Please.

Next up … BABY OBAMA! In 1991! Doin’ a thing for the TBS Black History Minute!

Here is Porky Pig gettin’ woke and finding out that a woman could be president, all the way back in 1986. Alas, Petunia Pig never did become POTUS, which is sad because honestly she would have been a better option than a few I could name.

And here is Cher, the President of My Heart, doing a commercial for President’s Health Club (no affiliation with any actual presidents).

Have you been struck with a sudden urge to shower us with money and jewels? If so, we are on Substack now so you can just go ahead and click subscribe!

 Or if you’d just like to donate just once …

You can also join our Patreon, or buy our merch, or do your Amazon shopping through our link.

You can even send us paper checks to:

Wonkette
PO Box 38273
Detroit MI 48238

Talk amongst yourselves!